Never Trust A Mini Van...Ever...Period

[XLR8]

I hate to profile and generalize but that's the new rule.

I'm upright, no skin loss, no plastic harmed, same old story, different bike & rider...  

Nuff said.

 

[highside]

I have found mini vans to be the most consistently hazardous vehicles on the road. That doesnt mean all mini van drivers, but it seems that a greater proportion of them want to kill me out of idiocy or actual intent than any other type of vehicle.

[et]

.... but it seems that a greater proportion of them want to kill me out of idiocy .....

That's because most mini vans are owned by people that are parents.
Take any person; when that person becomes a parent his or her I.Q. will automatically drop.  

--et

[MDHCO]

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

Mark Twain.

I find red Dodge Caravans particularly worrisome.

[Zen Rider]

I hate to profile and generalize but that's the new rule.

I'm upright, no skin loss, no plastic harmed, same old story, different bike & rider...  

Nuff said.

 

I'm wit'cha here  - drivers of Mini Vans rarely disappoint my ever diminishing expectations.  

My Credo - Pass with caution ... but as soon as possible  

[kenish]

Especially minvans with decals representing dad, mom, kids 1-4, dog 1, dog 2, and the cat.  That includes Tahoes brandishing the decals too.

Also, Toyota Avalons are on my "see and avoid" list.  They always seem to be driven more aggressively than the driver's skill level.

[steve.ski]

Take any person; when that person becomes a parent his or her I.Q. will automatically drop.  

--et

Au contraire...

[chornbe]

Shit. I'm in trouble. I have a gaggle of kids and there are two minivans in my driveway at the moment (one is borrowed from a friend while my car is in the shop).

How much does owning 3 bikes help to offset that? The math is beyond me. Help me out here folks!!

[miles]

That's because most mini vans are owned by people that are parents.
Take any person; when that person becomes a parent his or her I.Q. will automatically drop.  

--et

Word.  It happened to me, and even more so to my wife.


miles

[cultureslayer]

I have found mini vans to be the most consistently hazardous vehicles on the road. That doesnt mean all mini van drivers, but it seems that a greater proportion of them want to kill me out of idiocy or actual intent than any other type of vehicle.

+1
My mom has a minivan, and she's the worst driver I have had to share a vehicle with.

[phoenix]

1 minivan, 1 kid, 1 motorcycle  here .... what does that constitute?

[jstark47]

Around here (Trenton/Princeton, NJ) it's luxury SUV's driven by people between late 20's and early 40's (child-rearing years, coincidentally) talking on cell-phones.  Rarely fails to disappoint.  I automatically cover brakes whenever one is lurking at a cross street - it's amazing how often I end up needing to brake.

I gotta get one of those horns so loud it will make them drop their latte & cellphone in their lap, jump out, and hide behind the nearest tree!!!!  

[Tyrroneous]

I gotta chime in here too.  We have a mini-van.  I hate to do anything in it but travel long distances, at which it excels.

The problem with ours (2000 Chrysler) is the horrendous blind spots.  They're huge.  Maybe that has been rectified in the newer models.  But seeing as how most minivans share the same general shape, size, and layout perhaps freakin' huge blindspots is a common problem?  

[mike goodwin]

I have no problem profiling what so ever.
Hey if the shoe fits...
I find practically all four wheel vehicles equipped with drivers suspect.
In particular Volvo drivers with gaudy jewelery and yacking on a cell phone or one of those new inventions they wear in their fcking ear.

[rauchman]

+1 on the minivan with the SUV a close runner up.  I've had an instance where I was in the left lane on a highway doing 65 in a 55 and this bitch on a cell phone just starts wandering into my lane.  I dented her door by kicking it because she was coming TOO CLOSE.  Of course she freaked out when I kicked her door.  After some friendly hand gestures and some carefully orchestrated French, she got the message.  There is a school down the street from me and I've had more close calls with moms in their minivans/Suvs on their cell phones making lefts right in front of me as if I wasn't there.  On one occassion some more French was used and she flipped me the bird.  Well, I wasn't having any of that.  I met her at the school 10 seconds later and after some more exquisite French, I'm sure she will be at least aware of bikes on the road....................  I like French.  Yes, this is stereotyping, but it is what it is...... women on cell phones in minivans/Suvs are the #1 danger I face on the road as a motorcyclist.

[XLR8]

I suppose we can allow some karma points if you own a motorcycle and a mini van.  

[lilwing]

"Yes, this is stereotyping, but it is what it is...... women on cell phones in minivans/Suvs are the #1 danger I face on the road as a motorcyclist." - rauchman

+1  Soccer moms in minivans, Tahoes, Explorers, Suburbans, Excursions, Rav4.........

[keystonejenks]

Don't trust minivans!?!? I don't trust anybody, not even my riding buddies!  

Just kidding, I do trust my riding buddies - a little.

[ChikkenNoodul]

It's particularly worse when the minivan or SUV has a blacked out rear window  

[shah269]

Soccer moms are hopped up on Valium and Prozac and not enough lithium.
Basically they are suicidal but want to take some one with them.
Soccer dads are men who've long since lost their ability to grow facial hair due to their testicles being forcibly removed and placed in a pickle jar in the basement.

Long story short watch out for mini van drivers. They hate their lives and are totally unaware of whats going on in front of them. To add insult to injury most mini van drivers have no clue how long or wide their cars are (note the back right bumper of every minivan on the road, 80% have some sort of damage)

To deal with them you have to stay the hell away from them! Get out of their blind spot (which starts at the grill and ends 25m behind the hatch). I recommend the MOTO GP wheelie fly by at triple digits. That or my personal favorite pull up to a soccer dad in his mini van, honk your horn get their attention. Take left hand place it on forhead with palm out with the thumb and index finger extended. Then look of sadness on their face as they realize "I can never grow a sexy gote ever again!". At which point you laugh down shift and MOTO GP wheelie away!