Riding vs Family Time

[shoedad]

New to ST.N and am wondering how you guys with families work in rides while keeping the family unit happy. Are you able to still go on extended outings?

Just wondering what everyone else does.

Right now, I'm limited to commuting for my ride time.

[GRN]

My wife and I lived together for a few years prior to vows... she knew ahead of time that she was one of three loves in my life, and that riding and flyfishing were there first. I have made an adjustment for the fourth love of my life, but she'll hate me in about ten years, so I'll get that slice back  

[catches]

It's pretty easy around my house.  She likes to travel, and so do I.  Sometimes our travels take us to the same place, but often they don't.  So, whenever she wants to fly across the country to go visit a friend, or go on a road trip with her college roomy, I drive her to the airport, and then head home, jump on the bike, and disappear.  If we had kids it would be so much tougher, but I am not blessed with that inconvenience yet  .  But seriously, she knows how much I love this, and she likes the way I am when I get back from a trip.  She says that it's like I've gone back in time to when I had no responsibility, and not a care in the world.  It's the same thing I see from her when she goes on one of her adventures.  sure I miss her when she's gone, but I love the stories she tells when she comes back.   I balance it by remembering that if we spent every moment with each other, what stories would we have to tell?  What new things would we have to share?  

[MisterSmooth]

I don't know how old your kids are, but if they are young it's tough to find riding time.  My advice is, commute well and keep in mind that you will have the chance to ride more when they get a little older.  My wife was very supportive when my kids were in diapers, kept telling me not to sell my bike even though I didn't ride much at all.

Sure enough now that my kids are 9 and 12, it's accepted at my house that there will be a couple of long weekends every year when I am out riding.  The family is fine without me there; the kids can make their own sandwiches at this point.

And I come back with pictures and tales of adventures with hard-drinking, hard riding half-civilized motorbikers clad in Goretex and leather.  BigBlock with his polishing rag, Tritium with the ability to make automobiles burst into flame, Moxie with the casual power wheelies, Dante riding solo from Seattle to Antarctica, all these are the lore of the road.

[goldylocks303]

There used to be a guy on this board with eight kids.  They had an eight passenger truck/van to haul them around in.  Whenever ALL of them went somewhere (8 kids + 2 parents = 10 people) the easiest way was for him to take one kid on the bike.  The kids loved it and so did he (obviously).  Tell your wife to start cranking out those puppies!

eD

[photomd]

There used to be a guy on this board with eight kids.  They had an eight passenger truck/van to haul them around in.  Whenever ALL of them went somewhere (8 kids + 2 parents = 10 people) the easiest way was for him to take one kid on the bike.  The kids loved it and so did he (obviously).  Tell your wife to start cranking out those puppies!

eD

Was that Warchild?

The Wife is pretty supportive about my riding. I used to do 4-5 trips a year, but my four year old is my priority now. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I get away for several hours in the dirt when possible and commute to work with several trips thrown in.

I still love riding, but he will grow up and probably won't want all my attention, so I'll take all I can right now. IMHO, don't look at it as missing riding, but more time with the family...at least that's what I do.  

[basco]

 I gave up riding for awhile when the kids are small. Now I take riding vacations to get away from family and work. It seems to work but I only take 2 or 3 trips a year. The weekends is when I ride the most and the kids are occupied with there video games and stuff. And the wife...... So I pretty much ride when I want.

[Bodhi]

No kids in the house. We must have been married long enough that she encourages me to get out and go riding.

[basco]

No kids in the house. We must have been married long enough that she encourages me to get out and go riding.

In other words, she probably kicks you out of the house.  

[Bodhi]

In other words, she probably kicks you out of the house.  

That's what I think. But I'll take what I can get.

[shawn and gwyn]

 no prob for our house.  3 of the 4 have a bike.. and the 4th rides with either gwyn or i.  so we do this as a family .. and have a realy good time with it.

[jeepinbanditrider]

Well my wife also rides and understand the pull just to get out and ride sometimes.  She has no problems with it.  The point that we lose in is when we BOTH want to ride together since we have a 1.5year old son in the house.  Our landlord loves our kid so we get him to watch our kid for like half a day once a month and we both go out and ride around the area with no particular destination.  

As for long distance trips I usually just wait till the wife flys home to visit family becuase she will take the kid with her and I'm at home by myself.  We are trying to get some family to come visit us out here so we can both go ride up in the smokey mtns.

[goldylocks303]

Was that Warchild?

DING DING DING, tell 'em what he's won, Chuck!

[AZST]

2 or 3 long rides a year.  Planning them and waiting for them heightens the anticipation and gives me plenty of time to prepare the wife for my indulgence.

Otherwise, I commute on the bike fairly often to keep skills tight.

Also, whenever the wife tells me that she is getting together with her girlfriends, usually means I get a long ride on the ST the following weekend.  

It works out.  

 

[Bounce]

i just go riding. what's the deal?

[jstark47]

New to ST.N and am wondering how you guys with families work in rides while keeping the family unit happy. Are you able to still go on extended outings?

She rides.  I make sure her bike is running - if it's in the shop, I bail it out for her.  If she wants some gear or a farkle, it goes on my credit card.  She's happy.

I recently bought a V-strom so I can keep up with her Trophy on extended outings!  

[kendenton]

I have a 6-year old son, and I'm just starting to get back into riding  - stopped just before he was born.  I'm commuting (8 miles of country roads for the most part) most days, and a day trip every other weekend or so.  I have plans for a week-long trip in the spring, but I'm not sure I want to be away from my family that long.  

My wife used to ride pillion, but now feels that's too risky - too many eggs in one basket.  Can't say I disagree, but I do miss having her back there.

[1KPerDay]

I have a few kids and I usually ride on saturdays in the summer, or every other if we're busy with family stuff. Usually get about 250-400 miles in part of a day. I can usually swing one overnight tour somewhere per year, but with young kids it's tough, especially because the youngest likes me and doesn't sleep well with me gone. I also commute sometimes when my carpool buddy is gone on vacation or sick. I don't ride as much as I'd like, but I do really appreciate the rides I get to go on.

My wife does worry a bit, but she knows I'm much happier when I get to ride, so she works it out. Sometimes she encourages me to go for a ride... if I don't ride at all in a couple of weeks or so I guess I get grumpy.

[GoldWingBoy]

Wow, so time is the most valuable commodities.

[cole]

I have two kids 3 and 5 yrs old. The overnighter are very hard to do maybe once or twice a year. The wife does encourage me to get out and ride but sometimes the kids can really pull the right strings to make me feel bad about going girls will do that to you . What would be great is if the kids grow up and ride that way it can be a family thing . One of them already loves to ride so I am hoping that the dirt bike coming on christmas will alot of time doing what I love most riding and spending to time with the kid's.

[bobmielke]

I guess age has a lot to do with things. My riding keeps me sane & balanced. When I was married with kids I used to take one of my two kids along for the ride. They loved it and I got more road time. My wife & I used to go hundreds of miles together on weekends. We actually took every wedding anniversary as a bike trip. We also worked in bike/camping trips, bike/fishing trips etc. You don't have to give up your freedom or happiness to have a family, you just have to get creative about working in your hobby just as with any other obsession.

[R1150RTMark]

I pretty much gave up riding while we raised our kids.  I figured there'd be other bikes and other roads to travel, but I'd get exactly one chance with my two sons and I didn't want miss it.  For me, it was the right decision.  I was DEEPLY involved with their raising and for many years, we literally spent every weekend doing something centered around them - whether it be Indian Guides, sports, family camping, etc.  IMO it made a difference in their lives - and my wife's and mine.

Now they're basically grown up (18 and 22) - so a few years ago when the younger one started spending more time with buddies and girlfriends than with us, I figured it was 'my time'.  So I got back into it.  My wife doesn't share my enthusiasm - and that's OK.  I'm absolutely blessed to have a job where I work from home and can get a LOT of riding in during the week.  So I still spend most weekends with my wife.  For me it's the very best of both worlds.  I get to ride on the mostly rural, twisty roads near our home during the week when there's hardly any traffic, and spend my weekends with my favorite person in the whole world.  

[CBRXXBLACKBIRD]

I bring my Wife with.

[hig4s]

I sold my street bikes when my youngest hit 5 (oldest was 10) and was off street bikes for 10 years.. still did dirt bikes and ATVs with the family for those years. When my youngest got his driver's permit I got back into street. Still have my dirt bike too.

[bubba zanetti]

When my daughter was younger, and straying away on the bike meant leaving mrs zanetti alone on watch. I would always make a practice to get up at dawn - ride for a couple of hours both Sat and Sun and always came home with a Brioche or some kind of treat.

Got so Ursula would always look forward to my rides ... insert evil laugh ....  

[ssmith]

Mine are 15 & 18 and it's tough to juggle the time...   I mostly do early morning weekend rides, getting home after lunch on days I'm not teaching msf classes.  Each year I'll plan 2 or 3 weekend trips or maybe a week long trip.  Sometimes I bring the bike along on family vacations and get in some day trippin'.   I'm a lightweight when it comes to annual miles ridden, but I still manage 8K- 10K per year.  You gotta do what works best for you & your family.  

[kemp]

With 5- and 10-year-olds, it's tough for me to find time, too. But I can usually carve out a nice hour-long ride on the weekends without too much complaint. In fact, my wife has told me to go out before just to get it out of my system. "At least then your head will be here with us," she once told me.  

[shah269]

New to ST.N and am wondering how you guys with families work in rides while keeping the family unit happy. Are you able to still go on extended outings?

Just wondering what everyone else does.

Right now, I'm limited to commuting for my ride time.

To quote my grand father, "every man needs time to him self to figure out how best to be a man, the trick is to knowing how much time you need add about 15% to that and try your best to stick to it, your family with thank you for it"
And he is right, I don't have any kids but my wife understands that every now and then I need to just get in my gear, get on my bike and go for a three or so hour ride. She knows I'm not fooling around, she knows I'm not gambling nor drinking.
So she doesn't mind. And the best part according to her, I come back from my rides calm collected and relaxed.
Which for her is the best time to ask if she can buy sweat pants or more shoes!  

[ChrisZRX]

I have a three-year-old daughter, and a son about to be born.  Yes, my riding time will suffer.  

The best chance I have is when she visits her parents for a weekend.  Not sure how I'm going to be able to take off on a bike for a week until the kids are older.

[Shhted]

I have a 2+ year old and a non-riding wife.  Commuting is it for me currently.  I ask for one M/C trip a year and a few days riding outside of that.  I don't look at it as a loss of riding, it's precious time with my family.  I would like to ride more, but not at the expense of my relationship with my wife or son.

Free time is a precious commodity that I don't piss away.

[MK96xj]

It is a difficult thing especially when you have kids.
I have an 8 and 4 year old that i love dearly.
The wife use to ride with me before kids but does not get on the back much anymore.
I sold my jeep shortly after i bought my latest bike so i have no excuss not to ride. The wife has the other car.
I travel alot for work and if i need to go somewhere within a few states i will take teh bike. It is opportune to have a job that will pay for my jaunts. that is until they realize i am  taking the bike!!!. I am suppost to have a car for work.

My wife now currently thinks the bike is a toy and that i am some ass that that is having some late 30's age issue. I don't get her?? I think i will need to buy her some jewelry or something to shut her up. Damn woman!!

[samal]

I have a 5-years old and another one on the way.  I purchased the bike by making a deal with my wife that if I quit smoking, I will get the bike.  She never believed that I would really quit, so she agreed. 10 minutes after that I had my last cigarette!

She always hated bikes and still hates them, sould not get to one or ever around one, refuses to interact with my riding buddies, and so on...
First summer was terrible - but it was a learning curve for both of us!  She learned what motorcycling meant for me and I learned to manage my time.  Patience literally saved our marriage.  No she knows that I  do couple 2-3 day trips a year, ride for 3-4 hours about every other weekend.  In addition, I am blessed with 4 weeks vacation time, so I take days off about once a month to do a full day trip.  And of course I commute on a bike as much as I can.  Next year, I am planning a 4 day trip to Deals GAp area before her due date, and the rest of next year touring riding will be limited to weekday/2 weekday trips.

[andmoon]

Unlike Golf, riding time can be any length you need it to be.
During the Summers I get up and ride as soon as it gets light.  I can be back home by 10am w/ 5 hours ride time under my belt.
During the winters I just cry a lot.
My kids are 3 and 5....they come before anything else.

[2Pokey]

As Rollins would say "no such thing as spare time, no such thing as free time, no such thing as down time, all you've got is lifetime...Go!"

That being said my motorcycles are a big part of my life. There are three time zones in my household.
Family time, Couple time and My time. I don't cheat myself or anybody else. While my 3 year old daughter is the most important thing in my life , she is not the only thing. Learning to juggle helps. It sounds hectic. And it is, right up until your out on that bike with 200 miles and 4-5 hours ahead of you. Suddenly its all worth it.
 
Take a day off, use some vacation, call a babysitter, call a relative, call a friend, take turns with a friend watching someone elses kid, take turn with your SO (i send mine to Fla., to her moms, or sisters), get them in a chaparoned program through school, the church, the Y, send them to camp, Get up really early on the weekend, go out really late or ride after work one day during a weeknight, give up the big game or any game for that matter, ditch Blockbuster, XBox and AOL. GET OUT AND RIDE.

Sorry I got carried away.  

[garry]

I sold off my street bike when my wife was pregnant with son #1 for a bigger down payment on a house. Kept a dirt bike for a couple more years then sold that. DIdn't get another bike for 15 years, then back at it with gusto... Little kids need lots of attention and they're awesome. As they get older and more independent, it's harder to do stuff together so time frees up to ride. Those years with little ones (12 and under) are really special and they go by so fast. Now I've got teenagers (oldest is 18) and we're growing closer because the relationship is evolving from parent/dictator to adviser. The downside is that he now kicks my ass skiing and on a mountain bike. Damn kids with young legs and lungs...

All that said, just accept you've got less time to ride, but don't stop. Those few hours here and there are still great. It's hard to justify buying a bike again, and a lot easier to justify keeping the one you've got. It's all about balancing priorities and time.

[Rigger]

Well since I am single, the best family time I can have is when I am at my folks place outside of London Ontario.  Both my dad and my brother ride, so I am borrowing one of their bikes.  Last summer before I moved back to Cold Lake Alberta from North Bay Ontario I rode to mom and dads a number of times.  With dad, my brother Jeff and I riding together we were like kids. It is a time I will never forget.  Ranks right up there with the time I spent with some of our STN family members at the Parry Sound SBR last summer.

[Tomx]

"O.K., honey, see you in a few days."
"What?"
"Remember, I told you about that three day trip I was taking up to the Finger Lakes?"
"You said something about it a few months ago, but I didn't think..."
"Well, I'm off. See you. Bye."

The perfect marraige.

- Tom

[ejwpc]

It does take some real balancing with kids, especially young ones.

For me (married w/ four kids, three under 10), it is really a matter of simply planning my time.  I have been riding about 2 1/2 years now and for the first year or so, it was all about the weekend afternoon ride and maybe even an occassional evening ride to just learn some skills.  I rode just about every week.

This last summer I had "graduated" to several all day rides and a couple overnighters.  Unfortunately, this meant only riding about once or twice a month and planning the longer rides sometimes months in advance (one two-nighter was eventually cancelled due to weather on the appointed weekend).

The bottom line is that there are certainly sacrifices you make with kids.  I hope to have more riding time as they get older, but I don't want to miss out on the time now either.  

[Rabidsnipe]

Something my wife and I tried last time was discussing beforehand (in January) how many nights on a bike I would get.  We discussed it for a little while and agreed on a number.  Then I was free to schedule what I wanted.  This worked well because I knew how much time I had, and didn't have to go through the approval process every time; I just asked once.  It worked well for her as well because she knew there was a limit to the amount of time that I would be gone.  I would normally give her enough heads up that she could work something out to be doing with friends or family.

That being said, it sounds like I should get all the riding in that I can before little ones start showing up.

[Mobycanuck]

Family who understands your passion will be understanding of your need to ride.  If it's an important part of who you are, it needs to be maintained.  There are plenty of opportunities to ride if you are creative.  Have fun running errands, commute to work, bring the wife/son/daughter along on a weekend ride.  Any partner should be fine with some true alone riding time if they feel you have a good balance 90% of the time.

[clyde]

I gotta cool wife. What can I say. She knows that if I don't go out riding, I'll cause some sort of mayhem at home.

[blackbeltrider]

Family first for most of the time allows me the freedom to ride one long distance (10 - 20 days at a time) trip annually, plus several shorter. Since my wife is a backseater we also get to travel a fair bit together each year.

Taught my oldest girl to ride and helped pick out her firsat bike. We ride together as often as we can. Her daughter thinks it is prety neat to have the only motorcyclist Mommy in her class.

I never regretted, nor do I regret today, any of the time I spent/spend with family.        

[Desmo Demon]

My wife likes to ride as much as I do.....probably more, so.......I commute during the week, and the only weekend riding I do is when my wife can go with me, which is only when we have a babysitter for our 2-yr old daughter (both grandmothers fight over her). I still managed to ride 15k miles and my wife rode 7k miles in 2006. This is mainly due to 400-700+ mile weekends and several 2-3 day weekend bike rides.

[Baz]

I tend to abandon my family at the 1st sign of spring, and get re-aquainted again around the 1st frost.

[Zerosum]

There are three time zones in my household.
Family time, Couple time and My time. I don't cheat myself or anybody else.

You said it.  This is exactly how I intend things to be.  I'm getting married in June, and the future Mrs. is ready to start popping out the little ones not soon after that.  Family will be important, but no way am I going to forget the fact that I'm an individual with a natural right to my own thoughts and my own time.  I honestly think children are overrated and overvalued to neurotic extremes in this society.  Adults are people too.

[bubba zanetti]

When my daughter was younger, and straying away on the bike meant leaving mrs zanetti alone on watch. I would always make a practice to get up at dawn - ride for a couple of hours both Sat and Sun and always came home with a Brioche or some kind of treat.

Got so Ursula would always look forward to my rides ... insert evil laugh ....  

Wow ... lucky guy ... hey ... I know ... what if a WOMAN .. you met online asked to come and meet you??? EH ??? Bet that would lead to a bitch slap or three huh ... bubby?

[bubba zanetti]

Wow ... lucky guy ... hey ... I know ... what if a WOMAN .. you met online asked to come and meet you??? EH ??? Bet that would lead to a bitch slap or three huh ... bubby?

Sorry to sadden your outlook dipstick .. but it has happened. The DenMother (tm) has come a callin and er .. even spent ( is that a word I can use ... seems er ... nevermind) the night ... three times !!!  

Well .. use yer head ... she travels with Zarly so her expectations are somewhat .... limited?!!!  ...  

[Chronic]

Being that my wife & I are major D.I.N.K.S and she being as big a riding junkie as I.....well, life is good

[basco]

I honestly think children are overrated and overvalued to neurotic extremes in this society.  Adults are people too.

Overrated and overvalued, yes. Also, neglected. So many of our problems are based on that. Good luck on your family. If I would have known the things I know now, I'd never start a family.

[LENSMAN]

I take one day on a weekend- some times with my daughter on the back.  I have to do more with my family, and I'm scaling back on some of my hobbies ( not biking).