Divorce-what happens?

[Mr. Whippy]

An interesting discussion.  The wife and I will have been married 42 years next month.  Sometimes I wonder how we stayed together.  I like camping in the woods.  Her idea of roughing it is a 5th wheel, a KOA and a mall nearby.  I'd like a few acres in out of town.  She needs to be in the middle of a neighborhood.  I like riding.  She prefers air conditioning, power steering and a stereo.  Our music tastes differ.  She views my collection of LP's (only 900 or so) and continued use of a turntable with amusement.  I shake my head in bewilderment at her predilection for knick-knacks and inability to leave a wall or shelf unadorned.  I like stuffed bell peppers.  Bell peppers make her sick.  I could eat fish and seafood 7 days a week.  She (and our kids) can't stand the smell, taste or texture of said seafood.  I like to hunt.  She thinks Bambi is too cute to shoot.  I put up with her over-the-top optimism.  She deals with my realistic view of the world (she calls it pessimism.)   So why are we still together?  Well, to start, we like each other's company.  When we drove to the east coast to visit our daughter it pretty much a non-stop conversation.  Don't let anyone tell you a college education is necessary for an interesting conversation.  I have one, the wife doesn't.  But dscussing politics, religion, philosophy, ethics, etc. with her is always stimulating and fun.  And, no, we don't always agree.  We concentrate on the areas in which we agree and allow each other our differences.  In matters of where we live, vacations, etc. we compromise.  She may not like camping, but we've do once in a while, and we use the 5th wheel once in a while.  Although she worries, she smiles and gives me a kiss goodbye when I load up the CBR and take off for a day's ride.  When we go to town to shop I take reading material or the laptop and entertain myself while waiting - and waiting - and waiting.  I'm done shopping in half and hour or so.  She shops for hours.  We
laugh together.  Sometimes a person observing from the outside might think we're pretty immature seeing the jokes and goofy things we do.  We definetly aren't dignified.  That isn't to say we've never had disagreements or argued.  We have.  I have taken several long walks over the years.  But to the best of my knowledge neither of us has insulted or denigrated the other in an argument.  Perhaps some of the credit for our marrige is mine, but even more it is my wife's.  It has been my incredible good fortune to meet and marry a woman who is loving, caring, and forgiving.  And has been my best friend for the past 47 years.

Awesome post.  I'm only at 20 years, but I feel very much the same way.

[keppyou812]

Well, my ex ended up screwing 2 former friends. She ended up moving to the other side of the country, with a buddy of mine from work.  After she left me, I found out that the house was in forclosure, and 3 days later the electric got cut off.  This is her idea of managing the bills. Got a loan to pay the mortgage company, and had to wait 2 weeks till I got paid again to get the electric turned back on.  Then found out the bank account was wiped out.    
She didn't get a lawyer for the divorce proceedings till an hour before court.
My divorce due to adultery turned into irreclencilable differences.
My full custody turned into full joint custody. Me as custodial parent.
She ended up having to pay $387 a month for child support.
She has visitation during the summer, and every other xmas, and spring break. Which I have to pay half of transportation costs.  

Now all of a sudden, Mother of the Year has decided that she wants to get full custody in AZ, while my daughter lives with me, here in PA.  

[Simplyhere]

I went home for lunch and asked my wife if she was happy.
You know, are the same feelings still there, is she looking for more excitement or something?  'cause I can make things exciting.  
I can make every day an exploding carnival of excitement.
 

Couldn't help but notice you didn't say what your wife's answer was.  So did she ask for the exploding carnival of excitement, or what?  

[Giaka]

What happens? Well I think one or the other or possibly both are lying to themselves and their future spouse when they say "I do" to all that BS that goes along with "death do you part". I have known way to many people that married because it seemed like its what "everyone wanted". (I was one of them).

Not everyone, in fact very few people that are married are mutually, truly in love (I bet less then 50%, does that number ring a bell?). One of them may be in love but the other is just doing the "right thing" so they don't upset the other. That and people join into marriage thinking they can deal with the minor annoyances the future spouse has and or hoping they "change". Usually they do change, they get more annoying after the honeymoon. This is when you start dealing with the real person instead of their "salesmen/woman".

The contract (till death) is simply to farking long!! You should sign on to be married for 5, 10 or 15 years and when that contract is up you either sign another one or move on.

[Mr. Whippy]

The contract (till death) is simply to farking long!! You should sign on to be married for 5, 10 or 15 years and when that contract is up you either sign another one or move on.

Heh.  The French are actually having this debate currently.

[redember]

My friend's wife ran off to Turkey to meet a man she met on the internet.

My other friend's husband cheated on her multiple times.

My other friend's husband gambled away their retirement.

My other friend's wife met another man, divorced him, remarried him with profuse apologies, and then met ANOTHER man and divorced him again.

My other friend's husband left her when he found out she had multiple sclerosis.

My other friend's wife split, with no explanation, leaving with her stuff when he was on a business trip, and then called two months later wanting to come home (he wisely said no.)

My other friend and her husband just drifted apart until they got no joy from each other anymore.

My parents unequivocally could not live in the same house at all (he's the neatest person I know, she's the messiest) and then it turned out they were gay anyway.

There's a million and one reasons.

I'm coming up on my first anniversary. We're best friends and have known each other for 11 years, and I have to admit I am hoping for the "Death do us part" deal.

[Baz]

It appears we have a few of the same friends!

[M.Brane]

 My parents have been married for 62 years.

 All us kids have been divorced at least twice.

 Guess they broke the mold.

[cultureslayer]

 Guess they broke the mold.

Or are too co-dependent to part ways, no matter how tired they are of each other.  

[M.Brane]

Or are too co-dependent to part ways, no matter how tired they are of each other.  

 That's probably a contributing factor.

[cultureslayer]

 That's probably a contributing factor.

Probably.  My parents got married when my mom was 18 and I am pretty sure they'd have no idea how to do anything without asking permission first.  

[basco]

Look!  Bewbies!

Where?

[FirstVtwin]

Where?

Back on page 3

[Black Ice]

 We concentrate on the areas in which we agree and allow each other our differences.

Yep, that's pretty much it.  

[vfrrider]

  Wondering where I went wrong.

Yes, thats what I assumed, forever. But not everyoe thinks that way anymore, just ask divorce attorneys.

Here's my 2 cents. Want to get married? OK, put up a $10000 cash bond with a 10 year face value and signs a prenup for automatic according to what you put in by salary. Want to get divorced before 10 years, forfeit it to pay your debts and legal bills. Want to file a divorce? OK, walk away with what you have. Forget child support. You fight for the child, you support them. Forget alimony, you walk away, you got what you're going to get.

Sound a little cold, yes it does. You might say, been there, done that, got the scars to prove it. Dance with the one who brung you, nobody said it was going to be easy.

Larry
VFRrider

[M.Brane]

 I don't really have a problem with child support. He's my kid too.

 What I do have a problem with is when the custodial parent moves hundreds of miles away, and then complains about the logistics involved in getting the kid to/from me for his visits. Not much that a man can do about that in CA though. We are the bad guys.

 Then there's the whole income tax issue.........