Divorce-what happens?

[scott-sts]

It is interesting as well as sad.

I haven't read one post (although I admit I skim some) where the guy said, "Yea, I was pretty much to blame."

Certainly not the common perception of who's responsible for what.

Perhaps it not that clear cut.  I'm not reading "It's her fault" in these replies.
Unless it's a post about finding another mans prick in your wife.  Then it's pretty clear cut.

[Scratch33]

Besides, whats better, your wife or your bike?

Whichever you ride the most.

[Squareman357]

It is interesting as well as sad.

I haven't read one post (although I admit I skim some) where the guy said, "Yea, I was pretty much to blame."

Certainly not the common perception of who's responsible for what.

I'm more than willing to admit that I too have changed.  I'm not the same person I was 22 years ago.  If my changing has affected the relationship, then I bear the responsibility for that.  But what to DO about it is the question...

[Shhted]

I'm more than willing to admit that I too have changed.  I'm not the same person I was 22 years ago.  If my changing has affected the relationship, then I bear the responsibility for that.  But what to DO about it is the question...

I'll save Copper-SVS the trouble, BHITAWTF.  

[FirstVtwin]

It is interesting as well as sad.

I haven't read one post (although I admit I skim some) where the guy said, "Yea, I was pretty much to blame."

Certainly not the common perception of who's responsible for what.

I won't say I didn't change, but even after finding my wife with another man, I fought my ass off for my marriage.  I took a vow, and I was going to stand by it.  I tried to take her to counciling, and to our pastor, and to her parents...nothing worked.  I walked on egg shells and kissed her feet for two months after what I found, and she still left me.  Before that, I was a loving, caring father.  She joined a local theater group and was never home...we never saw each other.  She fell in love with her co-star in one of her plays.  There was not a damn thing I could have done.  We never fought, I never yelled, and I was a great husband.  I should have known something was up when she totally skipped fathers day that year.  I truly was blindsided.

I want to get married again.  I want to find that certain someone...and I will stand by that vow again when the time comes.

[Against The Wind]

I think I need to watch Forrest Gump again................

[chimera]

I think I need to watch Forrest Gump again................

I'm not a smart man.....

[JonS]

It is interesting as well as sad.

I haven't read one post (although I admit I skim some) where the guy said, "Yea, I was pretty much to blame."

Certainly not the common perception of who's responsible for what.

That would be me, twice. The sad part is that they were both good women.
At least I learned enough to avoid most of the stuff from the other two times... We will see in another fifteen years or so.
On last thing, men and women really are different species.

[Mr. Whippy]

That would be me, twice. The sad part is that they were both good women.
At least I learned enough to avoid most of the stuff from the other two times... We will see in another fifteen years or so.
On last thing, men and women really are different species.

Interesting.  From the popular press, and most media outlets, the old saw of "Middle aged man goes looking for a younger woman, trying to recapture his youth, divorces his wife and family for his midlife crisis fling" seems to be fairly exaggerated, at least from the STN experience.

[Shhted]

She joined a local theater group and was never home...we never saw each other.  She fell in love with her co-star in one of her plays.

You can never trust theater guys.  Ever.  If they're not teh ghey, they're teh poon hound.

[milkman]

I just recently married on 6/14/08.  We have been together for 10 years, we both wanted to wait due to us only being 28.  I came from a home with divorced parents where both were remarried.  All i can say is that take care of your daughter.  even when my parents were arguing (in there bedroom) my siblings and I could hear them.  Be the bigger man, and good luck to you.  These things can get nasty even for the kids.  Please remember that she will use your daughter as leverage against you.  When she does this as much as it upsets you, don't let it affect your time with your daughter.  

[cultureslayer]

Interesting.  From the popular press, and most media outlets, the old saw of "Middle aged man goes looking for a younger woman, trying to recapture his youth, divorces his wife and family for his midlife crisis fling" seems to be fairly exaggerated, at least from the STN experience.

STN is not the most likely group to do something like that.  Here a midlife crisis is more likely to involve a switch from corbin to russell seats.  

Mistress takes too much time away from the bike.  

[scott-sts]

I just recently married on 6/14/08.  We have been together for 10 years, we both wanted to wait due to us only being 28.  I came from a home with divorced parents where both were remarried.  All i can say is that take care of your daughter.  even when my parents were arguing (in there bedroom) my siblings and I could hear them.  Be the bigger man, and good luck to you.  These things can get nasty even for the kids.  Please remember that she will use your daughter as leverage against you.  When she does this as much as it upsets you, don't let it affect your time with your daughter.  


Wrong thread dude.

[Mr. Whippy]

Bad posting


uh...

dood

[DredheadV2.0]

She joined a local theater group and was never home...we never saw each other.  She fell in love with her co-star in one of her plays.  There was not a damn thing I could have done.  We never fought, I never yelled, and I was a great husband.  I should have known something was up when she totally skipped fathers day that year.  I truly was blindsided.

Man.  I saw that happen with a pair when I was in the community theater in Rockford.  Married woman with two kids and an adoring husband co-stars as Guinevere to a married guy's Arthur.  That same season they were re-cast together in 42nd Street.  By the time we were through with tech rehearsals, they had both left their spouses and kids.  

I felt kinda happy for them, since they glowed when they were together, but I felt like shit for the kids, who still came to see their mom perform.  They looked lost.  

Having worked in the theater a whole bunch, I always saw enormously strong attachments form between actors and actresses, torrid affairs that last about a week after the least curtain goes down, but never anything permanent.  I think it's a fact of life in the theater - the people get so caught up in the little world they've created, the real world takes a back seat.  But when that world comes to an end, the magic's gone.

Sorry to hear what went down, and I'm glad you're stronger for it.

[mike goodwin]

I think I need to watch Forrest Gump again................

O.K.
But i think i will get drunk tonight and watch the old original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre".
That's a flick that will get your attention drunk or sober.

This damn thread is bad for your mental outlook on life
Where the hell did Ozzie and Harriet wander off too.

[scott-sts]

Bad posting


uh...

dood

 

[jadziadax8]

Thats exactly what happened to me.  I was happily trudging along in the married life. We had less problems than 90% of the folks on here I bet.  One night I woke up at 4:00am to come downstairs and find my wife in the arms of another man.  I fought for her love for 2 months before letting go.  I never saw it coming.  We had a 1.5 year old at the time.  I still have no idea what happened or why.  She just told me she had not loved me for over 2 years, and could never talk to me.

I read a very interesting article in Time Magazine a couple of months ago that may have an explanation for this phenomenon.  Apparently women and men have a good mate detection system.  We can smell certain pheromones given off by members of the opposite sex.  If those pheromones are too close to ours, that person will make a bad mate genetically.  The wacked out part?  Birth control pills mess up this system for women.  Say you are on the Pill and meet a wonderful man.  You get married, and after a couple of great years of marriage, you decide to start having kids.  You go off the Pill, and suddenly realize you've made a huge mistake, and don't know why.  I'm definitely not saying this makes up for bad behavior, like cheating, since we have free will, but it is an interesting theory.

[dr dralion]

I'm not divorced - I'm not even married.  I was engaged though...  After 5 years of dating, I asked my girl to marry me and she accepted.  A few months before the marriage she said she couldn't do it.  I was upset.  We're in counseling now about what the best course of action is and how to manage life.  She's from a f**ed up family, parent's don't admit any mistakes, don't apologize, don't consider the other's needs/wants and finally ended it with divorce.  Despite both being at fault, neither takes responsibility (another trend in her family).  I dunno how long I want to sit around while she gets her ducks in a row.  However when I read this thread, maybe waiting on the "I do" isn't such a bad thing.

One good thing to come out of this: all that money I had saved for the wedding, I paid off my bike and bought farkles

Kevin

[Mr. Whippy]

I'm not divorced - I'm not even married.  I was engaged though...  After 5 years of dating, I asked my girl to marry me and she accepted.  A few months before the marriage she said she couldn't do it.  I was upset.  We're in counseling now about what the best course of action is and how to manage life.  She's from a f**ed up family, parent's don't admit any mistakes, don't apologize, don't consider the other's needs/wants and finally ended it with divorce.  Despite both being at fault, neither takes responsibility (another trend in her family).  I dunno how long I want to sit around while she gets her ducks in a row.  However when I read this thread, maybe waiting on the "I do" isn't such a bad thing.

One good thing to come out of this: all that money I had saved for the wedding, I paid off my bike and bought farkles

Kevin

You have to make your own decisions, but MAN!!  That's nothing but a mess of red flags.  IMO, I'd keep it informal and if you're interested in marrying someone, start looking else where.  Ain't nothing here that smells good.