Divorce-what happens?

[cultureslayer]

I read a very interesting article in Time Magazine a couple of months ago that may have an explanation for this phenomenon.  Apparently women and men have a good mate detection system.  We can smell certain pheromones given off by members of the opposite sex.  If those pheromones are too close to ours, that person will make a bad mate genetically.  The wacked out part?  Birth control pills mess up this system for women.  Say you are on the Pill and meet a wonderful man.  You get married, and after a couple of great years of marriage, you decide to start having kids.  You go off the Pill, and suddenly realize you've made a huge mistake, and don't know why.  I'm definitely not saying this makes up for bad behavior, like cheating, since we have free will, but it is an interesting theory.

Would help explain some of the crazy crap women do.    

[scott-sts]

I went home for lunch and asked my wife if she was happy.
You know, are the same feelings still there, is she looking for more excitement or something?  'cause I can make things exciting.  
I can make every day an exploding carnival of excitement.
 

[cultureslayer]

I went home for lunch and asked my wife if she was happy.
You know, are the same feelings still there, is she looking for more excitement or something?  'cause I can make things exciting.  
I can make every day an exploding carnival of excitement.
 

  That's signature worthy right there.  

[Mr. Whippy]

I went home for lunch and asked my wife if she was happy.
You know, are the same feelings still there, is she looking for more excitement or something?  'cause I can make things exciting.  
I can make every day an exploding carnival of excitement.
 

I guess it depends what part of the carnival is assploding...

[dm_gsxr]

The thing I do is remind Rita of my personality. I'm a "live for today" and she's a "plan for the future". She likes to go outdoors. I like the outdoors but have to be extracted. Once I'm there I generally enjoy it I'm also generally pretty easy about most things where she's a bit pickier. She'll occasionally ask me where I want to go (for dinner for example). The problem is, I either pick a place I like that I know she likes (like Indian) or it's a place she doesn't like (like Outback). So I always defer to her. I can always hit the places I like (Wendy's for instance) when I'm out on my own.

Carl

[Scratch33]

I read a very interesting article in Time Magazine a couple of months ago that may have an explanation for this phenomenon.  Apparently women and men have a good mate detection system.  We can smell certain pheromones given off by members of the opposite sex.  If those pheromones are too close to ours, that person will make a bad mate genetically.  The wacked out part?  Birth control pills mess up this system for women.  Say you are on the Pill and meet a wonderful man.  You get married, and after a couple of great years of marriage, you decide to start having kids.  You go off the Pill, and suddenly realize you've made a huge mistake, and don't know why.  I'm definitely not saying this makes up for bad behavior, like cheating, since we have free will, but it is an interesting theory.

So that's it?! Pheromones? Thank goodness!!  

And all this time I thought it had to do with married couples becoming fat, bald & boring...

[Black Ice]

The question is, why the hell is everyone so red hot to get married...even when there's an assload of signs screaming, "DON'T DO IT!!!"?  

[Mr. Whippy]

It saves money on car insurance.

[scott-sts]

The question is, why the hell is everyone so red hot to get married...even when there's an assload of signs screaming, "DON'T DO IT!!!"?  

Maybe because for those that it does work out for, it's cool.

[scott-sts]

It saves money on car insurance.

So does Geico.  And you get to talk to that stupid fucking lizard.

[cultureslayer]

The question is, why the hell is everyone so red hot to get married...even when there's an assload of signs screaming, "DON'T DO IT!!!"?  

You get a bunch of presents?  

[HipGnosis]

 You get married, and after a couple of great years of marriage, you decide to start having kids.  You she goes off the Pill, and suddenly realize you've made a huge mistake, and don't know why.  I'm definitely not saying this makes up for bad behavior, like cheating, since we have free will, but it is an interesting theory.

The problem with your theory is that women who are cheating don't go off the pill.

[toddrod]

You get a bunch of presents?  

Yeah, but after the divorce you will only get half of them... if you're lucky.  

[HipGnosis]

I can make every day an exploding carnival of excitement.

But what if she's already tired of cleaning up after your excitement?

[cultureslayer]

Yeah, but after the divorce you will only get half of them... if you're lucky.  

As long as I get the grill, he can keep the towels and blender.  

[Mr. Whippy]

As long as I get the grill, he can keep the towels and blender.  

Sorry, Grills are a man's domain.

but then again so are blenders.
 

[cultureslayer]

Sorry, Grills are a man's domain.

but then again so are blenders.
 

Nothing is sacred in divorce.  

[FirstVtwin]

Man.  I saw that happen with a pair when I was in the community theater in Rockford.  Married woman with two kids and an adoring husband co-stars as Guinevere to a married guy's Arthur.  That same season they were re-cast together in 42nd Street.  By the time we were through with tech rehearsals, they had both left their spouses and kids.  

I felt kinda happy for them, since they glowed when they were together, but I felt like shit for the kids, who still came to see their mom perform.  They looked lost.  

Having worked in the theater a whole bunch, I always saw enormously strong attachments form between actors and actresses, torrid affairs that last about a week after the least curtain goes down, but never anything permanent.  I think it's a fact of life in the theater - the people get so caught up in the little world they've created, the real world takes a back seat.  But when that world comes to an end, the magic's gone.

Sorry to hear what went down, and I'm glad you're stronger for it.

Thats exactly what happened too.  They broke up a couple weeks after their last show together.  She is still involved with the theater though, and takes my daughter there...I HATE THAT!!!!!!  I and everybody else know they are a fooked up bunch of people, but she doesn't see it.  

Thats ok...she is dating a new guy not in theater.  He can deal with her crazy now.

[DRam]

Note:  I wrote the following and then re-read it.  It sounds like bragging.  It isn't meant to be that, it's meant to say that differences can be overcome and that not all marriages end in divorce.  Yeah, some 50% do, but that means that some 50% don't.  This also isn't meant as a slam at those who are divorced.  Enough of our friends, acquaintances and family members have been through that for me to realize there are times when it is the best thing, and times when it just about unavoidable.  I empathize with those who have gone through a divorce.  Not a one of our friends, man or woman, who has gone through divorce has had an easy time no matter how inevitable or justified it was.  This is just to point out to those put off from getting married by failed marriages that not all fail, and that despite occassional disagreements, it's worth trying.  And now to my original post:


An interesting discussion.  The wife and I will have been married 42 years next month.  Sometimes I wonder how we stayed together.  I like camping in the woods.  Her idea of roughing it is a 5th wheel, a KOA and a mall nearby.  I'd like a few acres in out of town.  She needs to be in the middle of a neighborhood.  I like riding.  She prefers air conditioning, power steering and a stereo.  Our music tastes differ.  She views my collection of LP's (only 900 or so) and continued use of a turntable with amusement.  I shake my head in bewilderment at her predilection for knick-knacks and inability to leave a wall or shelf unadorned.  I like stuffed bell peppers.  Bell peppers make her sick.  I could eat fish and seafood 7 days a week.  She (and our kids) can't stand the smell, taste or texture of said seafood.  I like to hunt.  She thinks Bambi is too cute to shoot.  I put up with her over-the-top optimism.  She deals with my realistic view of the world (she calls it pessimism.)   So why are we still together?  Well, to start, we like each other's company.  When we drove to the east coast to visit our daughter it pretty much a non-stop conversation.  Don't let anyone tell you a college education is necessary for an interesting conversation.  I have one, the wife doesn't.  But dscussing politics, religion, philosophy, ethics, etc. with her is always stimulating and fun.  And, no, we don't always agree.  We concentrate on the areas in which we agree and allow each other our differences.  In matters of where we live, vacations, etc. we compromise.  She may not like camping, but we've do once in a while, and we use the 5th wheel once in a while.  Although she worries, she smiles and gives me a kiss goodbye when I load up the CBR and take off for a day's ride.  When we go to town to shop I take reading material or the laptop and entertain myself while waiting - and waiting - and waiting.  I'm done shopping in half and hour or so.  She shops for hours.  We
laugh together.  Sometimes a person observing from the outside might think we're pretty immature seeing the jokes and goofy things we do.  We definetly aren't dignified.  That isn't to say we've never had disagreements or argued.  We have.  I have taken several long walks over the years.  But to the best of my knowledge neither of us has insulted or denigrated the other in an argument.  Perhaps some of the credit for our marrige is mine, but even more it is my wife's.  It has been my incredible good fortune to meet and marry a woman who is loving, caring, and forgiving.  And has been my best friend for the past 47 years.

[jadziadax8]

And now to my original post:

The wife and I will have been married 42 years next month.

   

I hope Fourstring and I will be as happy in 39 years as you guys are today.