Eagleisms

[02Tac]

The PA State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into
Philly ..
For the first offense, they give you two Eagles tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

 Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting  around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
 A. The Eagles

 Q. What do the Eagles and Billy Graham have in common?
 A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus!!'.

 Q. How do you keep an Eagle out of your yard?
 A. Put up a goal post.

 Q. Where do you go in Philly in case of a tornado?
 A. To the Eagles Stadium-they never get a touchdown there!

 Q. What's the difference between the Eagles and a dollar bill?
 A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

 Q. How many Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl?
 A. Nobody knows and we may never find out!

 Q. What do the Eagles and a possums have in common?
 A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

[chornbe]

HAHAHAHAhahahahahahohfuckitstrue

[Capirex]

Call me crazy but I like the Eagles chances in NY this weekend.  (+4)

[antvq]

Youse did not jus dis da Eeegls.  Yo, dats jus wrong man.  

I've lived and died with those assholes for a lot of years.  Yeah, the Phillies took the edge off the Non-champion bug, but I'd like to see the Birds win one before I die.  I'm afraid it doesn't look good this year despite how they played the last couple of games.  They have a way of bringing you way up, just to bitch slap you back to reality right quick.  

[02Tac]

Actually, pro sports is just about at the bottom of concern list.  I just get a kick out of rattling the chains of those obsessed with the games.  I would rather watch curling than a bunch of overpaid prima donnas that piss and moan about every thing and a league that refuses to expel (permanently) the members than that are busted for things such as drug use / DUI / etc.  Whether they like it or not they are role models and supposed to be Professionals.  They should be held to a standard befitting their supposed status.  It's not like they are congressmen for which standards simply do not matter, kids actually look up to these people.

[chornbe]

I think I've watched about 5/4s of football this entire year. I don't know... I just woke up one more and thought, "eh... whatever" about watching football. I love the game, but the NFL is so... broken. And now the AFL is on league-wide suspension... I have to resort to college and local high-school if I want to watch football now.

PS... I agree, I think the Eagles could walk away with the Giants game, but they have shown a history of playing down. And that's what I think that game would be...I think the Eagles are capable of delivering a humiliating beat-down in this game, but they will fall short.

$.02

[Rude_Rydah]

Bueller?  Bueller?  Anyone?

[antvq]

Well, well, looks like the Eagles are still alive.  It's a Miracle!  

[scottzilla]

Actually, pro sports is just about at the bottom of concern list.  I just get a kick out of rattling the chains of those obsessed with the games.  I would rather watch curling than a bunch of overpaid prima donnas that piss and moan about every thing and a league that refuses to expel (permanently) the members than that are busted for things such as drug use / DUI / etc.  Whether they like it or not they are role models and supposed to be Professionals.  They should be held to a standard befitting their supposed status.  It's not like they are congressmen for which standards simply do not matter, kids actually look up to these people.

Somebody please think of the children!
Seriously, football is the best it's been in my lifetime, IMO.  Linemen have gotten smaller and faster (Rather than huge and ponderous), the rules make sense (Let 'em play-no more in the grasp bullshit) and the persuit from behind is simply amazing.  Watching a linebacker miss a tackle, then track down the RB from behind is incredible.  A truly great game played by amazing athletes.
Of course, there are a few bad apples.
Maybe you can catch the chess championships on ESPN 19?

[scottzilla]

I think I've watched about 5/4s of football this entire year. I don't know... I just woke up one more and thought, "eh... whatever" about watching football. I love the game, but the NFL is so... broken. And now the AFL is on league-wide suspension... I have to resort to college and local high-school if I want to watch football now.

PS... I agree, I think the Eagles could walk away with the Giants game, but they have shown a history of playing down. And that's what I think that game would be...I think the Eagles are capable of delivering a humiliating beat-down in this game, but they will fall short.

$.02

How is the NFL broken?

[02Tac]

Somebody please think of the children!
Seriously, football is the best it's been in my lifetime, IMO.  Linemen have gotten smaller and faster (Rather than huge and ponderous), the rules make sense (Let 'em play-no more in the grasp bullshit) and the persuit from behind is simply amazing.  Watching a linebacker miss a tackle, then track down the RB from behind is incredible.  A truly great game played by amazing athletes.
Of course, there are a few bad apples.
Maybe you can catch the chess championships on ESPN 19?

  While I will agree with you that it may be a few bad apples, those bad apple can and do give the whole league a bad rep.  The on field play maybe fine, and I am not questioning their ability on the field, but these guys need to be held to a standard of conduct befitting their positions.  Violation of those standards needs to have a meaningful consequence.

  You also have the absolutely recockulous pay many of these people get.  It is absolutely absurd and who pays the cost.  The fan thats who.  When it takes $200 or in many cases a lot more for a guy to take his kid to a ball game something is WRONG!

  When are the chess championships on?  

[scottzilla]

  While I will agree with you that it may be a few bad apples, those bad apple can and do give the whole league a bad rep.  The on field play maybe fine, and I am not questioning their ability on the field, but these guys need to be held to a standard of conduct befitting their positions.  Violation of those standards needs to have a meaningful consequence.

  You also have the absolutely recockulous pay many of these people get.  It is absolutely absurd and who pays the cost.  The fan thats who.  When it takes $200 or in many cases a lot more for a guy to take his kid to a ball game something is WRONG!

  When are the chess championships on?  

What should players be paid?  The NFL has a salary cap.  I think cops are overpaid, teachers underpaid, movie stars overpaid, baseball players overpaid, etc. So what?  If you can't afford to take your kid to a game I guess you can't take your kid to a game.  What's the problem?  Can you afford to take your kid to Disney World for two weeks?  Should Disney World lower their prices to accomodate you?
So what should pro players make?  Let me hear this gem.
   
You hold prof football players to a higher standard, I do not.  When I hear that a cop shoves a toilet brush up a perps ass should I hold all cops accountable?

[jfurf]

  While I will agree with you that it may be a few bad apples, those bad apple can and do give the whole league a bad rep.  The on field play maybe fine, and I am not questioning their ability on the field, but these guys need to be held to a standard of conduct befitting their positions.  Violation of those standards needs to have a meaningful consequence.

  You also have the absolutely recockulous pay many of these people get.  It is absolutely absurd and who pays the cost.  The fan thats who.  When it takes $200 or in many cases a lot more for a guy to take his kid to a ball game something is WRONG!

  When are the chess championships on?  

You're maybe describing the Pete Rozelle-era NFL when players were given way more freedom in their personal lives, but those days are long gone. The bad off-field behavior nowadays gets all over ESPN/blogs/etc. within a few hours and generally results in long suspensions (a la Plaxico, Pacman, etc.) from either the commissioner's office or the team.

As for the players' pay... Dude, MILLIONS of people watch them play every week, why shouldn't they be paid well when they generate so much revenue? As for ticket prices... this is such a whiney argument. If you think seats cost too much, watch it on FREE television and let the next man pay for tickets. If owners over-price their seats, no one will go. Fortunately, the sport is healthy because so many people DO want to show up on Sundays.

[sagerat]

GO CARDS

And those were some pretty funny Philly jokes; congrats to the Eagles for sending the G-Men packing.

[TheGoose]

You know, given a what a pro-football player's body is like after a few years in the league I have no problem with them getting paid what they get paid. When I injured my neck playing football in high school the neurologist I went to also worked with the Cleveland Browns. He said he'd seen way to many late twenties men with sixty year old bodies.  They deserve every penny.


As for the Eagles..... well damn.

THE game next week though is Steelers/Ravens. Talk about smash mouth football..... that one is going to be brutal.

[02Tac]

To me it is not just football, baseball and basketball are out there too..

As to the salary, I would go to a position based salary with incentives.  As an example, Say you are a rookie QB, you would make the same as every other rookie QB out there.  Above the base salary there would be incentives for such things as wins, TD,s, playoff, etc.
If yo are a defensinve player there could be incentives for sacks, interceptions and such.  I do not begrudge the guys a good salary, but it is very to argue that they are not, at present, grossly overpaid.  If yo uare worried about the players health, they can pay for health and disability insurance.  And, they can invest d=some of what they make so they will have something to retire on as not all of them can be commentators when they are done playing.

[scottzilla]

To me it is not just football, baseball and basketball are out there too..

As to the salary, I would go to a position based salary with incentives.  As an example, Say you are a rookie QB, you would make the same as every other rookie QB out there.  Above the base salary there would be incentives for such things as wins, TD,s, playoff, etc.
If yo are a defensinve player there could be incentives for sacks, interceptions and such.  I do not begrudge the guys a good salary, but it is very to argue that they are not, at present, grossly overpaid.  If yo uare worried about the players health, they can pay for health and disability insurance.  And, they can invest d=some of what they make so they will have something to retire on as not all of them can be commentators when they are done playing.

I'm still confused as to what your basis of comparison is.  The highest paid NFL linemen make 2-3 Mil per year (The average is much less).  The CEO of GM makes 35 mil per year and is running the company out of business.
for 16 games per year, 50-60,000 people pack a stadium to watch these guys play.  The off time is spent preparing for these 16 games.
So you want to revamp the pay structure of the NFL so you feel less bitter?

[jfurf]

To me it is not just football, baseball and basketball are out there too..

As to the salary, I would go to a position based salary with incentives.  As an example, Say you are a rookie QB, you would make the same as every other rookie QB out there.  Above the base salary there would be incentives for such things as wins, TD,s, playoff, etc.
If yo are a defensinve player there could be incentives for sacks, interceptions and such.  I do not begrudge the guys a good salary, but it is very to argue that they are not, at present, grossly overpaid.  If yo uare worried about the players health, they can pay for health and disability insurance.  And, they can invest d=some of what they make so they will have something to retire on as not all of them can be commentators when they are done playing.

Crazy talk. In fact, they should get rid of salary caps and rookie drafts and other Owner Cartel-related B.S. Let the owners balance their own books while competing for talent. Let the market decide what players are worth.

I'm total bleed-heart commie liberal, but I still think market competition is a good thing.

[scottzilla]

Crazy talk. In fact, they should get rid of salary caps and rookie drafts and other Owner Cartel-related B.S. Let the owners balance their own books while competing for talent. Let the market decide what players are worth.

I'm total bleed-heart commie liberal, but I still think market competition is a good thing.

I think the pay structure as it is works really well.  It keeps the talent spread out throughout the league and leaves many of the decisions as to where money should be spent to the teams.

[R.Markus]

The PA State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into
Philly ..
For the first offense, they give you two Eagles tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

 Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting  around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
 A. The Eagles

 Q. What do the Eagles and Billy Graham have in common?
 A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus!!'.

 Q. How do you keep an Eagle out of your yard?
 A. Put up a goal post.

 Q. Where do you go in Philly in case of a tornado?
 A. To the Eagles Stadium-they never get a touchdown there!

 Q. What's the difference between the Eagles and a dollar bill?
 A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

 Q. How many Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl?
 A. Nobody knows and we may never find out!

 Q. What do the Eagles and a possums have in common?
 A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

I didn't even know what sport you were refering to until I saw  "Super Bowl". Now I know it's basketball.

[jfurf]

I think the pay structure as it is works really well.  It keeps the talent spread out throughout the league and leaves many of the decisions as to where money should be spent to the teams.

I hear ya. The NFL is great simply because there ARE truly 12 playoff teams this year that could have made it to the SB.

Still, part of me thinks the teams with the biggest fan bases shouldn't have to subsidize the Ford Family's perennial
don't-give-a-shit-ness.

[Allan]

I hear ya. The NFL is great simply because there ARE truly 12 playoff teams this year that could have made it to the SB.

Still, part of me thinks the teams with the biggest fan bases shouldn't have to subsidize the Ford Family's perennial
don't-give-a-shit-ness.

Also take a look at Miami. Who where a crap team a year ago. A couple personnel changes and BAM they are competitive next year. I think football is the most balanced out of all the major US pro team sports. Hockey is next, followed by basketball and a dead last baseball where one player in a high market team can make more than the entire payroll of a lower market team.

Full disclosure. I'm just peeved about baseball because the Pirates have not won anything in like 15 years. A salary cap and floor might make the Pirates competitive again if the owners gave two shits.

[02Tac]

I'm still confused as to what your basis of comparison is.  The highest paid NFL linemen make 2-3 Mil per year (The average is much less).  The CEO of GM makes 35 mil per year and is running the company out of business.
for 16 games per year, 50-60,000 people pack a stadium to watch these guys play.  The off time is spent preparing for these 16 games.
So you want to revamp the pay structure of the NFL so you feel less bitter?

  First off, GM (as screwed up as it is) is not at issue in thgis discussion unless they happen to have a pro team.

  Am I bitter, no.  I simply feel it is silly what these folks get paid, but as jfurf noted a free market thing is good.  

  Ok, so you feel they should be paid even more.  I guess this will not affect me as I have yet to feel the need to pay teh absolutly stupid cost of attendending a game.  

  What about permanent suspension for certian offenses such as cocain use for example.  Where do you stand on that?  This would only bring them in line with many other professions.  As an example, I am nothing more than an aircraft mechanic, but if I were to use drugs and get caught doing it I would be out of a job.  

[scottzilla]

  First off, GM (as screwed up as it is) is not at issue in thgis discussion unless they happen to have a pro team.

  Am I bitter, no.  I simply feel it is silly what these folks get paid, but as jfurf noted a free market thing is good.  

  Ok, so you feel they should be paid even more.  I guess this will not affect me as I have yet to feel the need to pay teh absolutly stupid cost of attendending a game.  

  What about permanent suspension for certian offenses such as cocain use for example.  Where do you stand on that?  This would only bring them in line with many other professions.  As an example, I am nothing more than an aircraft mechanic, but if I were to use drugs and get caught doing it I would be out of a job.  

First off, the league needs time to allow players to wean themselves off of all the drugs they are on.
I am OK with the league dolling out punishment.  Michael Vick was suspended, Pac-Man was suspended and Plaxico was suspended.  Chances are, Pac-man and Vick are done.  Plaxico may be back.  Your job would fire you, some jobs don't drug test at all.
I think you are still hung up on players being held to a higher standard.  IMO, athletes are not roll models.  PARENTS are.
I'd still like to hear how much these guys should be paid?
I did not say they should be paid more.  I would not be against hearing some hot-shot signed a 30mil deal though.

[02Tac]

First off, the league needs time to allow players to wean themselves off of all the drugs they are on.
I am OK with the league dolling out punishment.  Michael Vick was suspended, Pac-Man was suspended and Plaxico was suspended.  Chances are, Pac-man and Vick are done.  Plaxico may be back.  Your job would fire you, some jobs don't drug test at all.
I think you are still hung up on players being held to a higher standard.

  IMO, athletes are not roll models.


 PARENTS are.
I'd still like to hear how much these guys should be paid?
I did not say they should be paid more.  I would not be against hearing some hot-shot signed a 30mil deal though.

  You are entitiled to your opinion, but unfortunately society sees professional athletes as role models.  Right wrong or other this is how it is.

  I am not talking suspension, I am talking expulsion as in will not play again.

  Much like your opinion on the players being role models, in the end my opinion oin their pay does not matter.  The thing is that it I feel it has gotten out of hand.  Like I said, I do not attend games, but I do know people that do.  If cutting the salaries to the players (coaches and managers too) would reduce the cost to the fan than cut the pay.  When it costs upwards of $250 for a guy to take his kids to the game then I say something is wrong.  Are the players salaries the only cause? No, but they are a good part of it.

[scottzilla]

  You are entitiled to your opinion, but unfortunately society sees professional athletes as role models.  Right wrong or other this is how it is.

  I am not talking suspension, I am talking expulsion as in will not play again.

  Much like your opinion on the players being role models, in the end my opinion oin their pay does not matter.  The thing is that it I feel it has gotten out of hand.  Like I said, I do not attend games, but I do know people that do.  If cutting the salaries to the players (coaches and managers too) would reduce the cost to the fan than cut the pay.  When it costs upwards of $250 for a guy to take his kids to the game then I say something is wrong.  Are the players salaries the only cause? No, but they are a good part of it.

Dude, I just took the family to Disney on Ice.  If Ariel didn't have such a nice ass, I would have freaked out at the cost.

Case in point:
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[sagerat]

What about permanent suspension for certian offenses such as cocain use for example.  Where do you stand on that?  This would only bring them in line with many other professions.  As an example, I am nothing more than an aircraft mechanic, but if I were to use drugs and get caught doing it I would be out of a job.  

Let's see, aircraft mechanic abuse of illegal drugs = public safety issue; pro football player abuse of illegal drugs = what exactly?  The professions with strict penalties about drug abuse (truck drivers, airline pilot, aircraft mechanics, etc) have a component of protecting public welfare.  Some QB or defensive linemen decides to snort his salary up his nose, well bad for him and his team and its fans, but no real threat to the larger public.  

Apples to oranges comparo in my book.

[Rude_Rydah]

Enough with all your "I R serious" posts!!

Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings. -- George Will.

[sagerat]

When Bowie Kuhn gave the Iranian hostages lifetime free passes to major league baseball, Beano Cook said "Haven't they suffered enough?"  

[Rude_Rydah]

And you only have 2 ignores?  Unbelievable.    

In other news...

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons, they had to eliminate one team from the league.

So they've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs.

They will be known as the TAMPACKS. Unfortunately, they're only good for one period and have no second string!

[sagerat]

And the pitcher throws to first to hold the runner on.  Now it's time to bring in the left hander from the bullpen to face one batter and if he gets him out, maybe we'll have an intentional walk to set up the double play.

Ahh, the high drama that is baseball.  

[02Tac]

And you only have 2 ignores?  Unbelievable.    

In other news...

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons, they had to eliminate one team from the league.

So they've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs.

They will be known as the TAMPACKS. Unfortunately, they're only good for one period and have no second string!

  Thank you -- this is the direction the thread should go. Sports jokes.  

  NOTE FOR HARD CORE SPORTS ADDICTS - You maybe offended, but so what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's all in the name of poking fun at sports and the hard core fans there of.

[sagerat]

Guy is walking his dog along the sidelines at a Lions game.  Detroit gets a first down and moves the ball to its own 30.  The dog ignores it.  Then the Lions hit a long pass to the 50 and the dog begins to bestir.  The Lions get to their opponent's 35 and the dog starts to pant.  The Lions get to the 20 and the dog is howling.  Detroit gets to the 10 and the dog goes into delerium.

Another person on the sideline asks "Gee,mister, what does the dog do when the Lions score?"

The dog's owner replies "I don't know, I've only had him for three years."

[02Tac]

Albert Einstein wants to test the IQ of three men. He finds men with IQs of 250, 150, and 50. He asks the man with the 250 IQ, "What can you tell me about nuclear fission?" The man gives an answer appropriate to his 250 IQ, and Einstein moves on to the man with a 150 IQ. He asks him, "What can you tell me about Nuclear reactions?" The man gives him an answer appropriate for a 150 IQ. Einstein then asks the man with the 50 IQ, "HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS?"

[02Tac]

Q: Did you hear about the fire at the Fourty Niner's library facilities?

A: Both books were burned, and one of them had not even been colored in yet.

[02Tac]

Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk. Out of respect, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Cubs cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Sox cap, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Yankees cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time.

The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?"

Well," said the officer. "I am simply surprised. Normally when I look under a Yankees hat, I find an a@@hole."

[02Tac]

An elementary teacher starts a new job at a school in San Diego and trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she's a Chargers fan. She asks the class to raise their hands if they too are Charger fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"

Because I'm not a Chargers fan," she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a Chargers fan, then who do you support?"

"I'm a Bronco fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a Bronco fan?"

"Because my mom and dad are from Denver and my mom is a Bronco fan and my dad is a Bronco fan, so I'm a Bronco fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, that's no reason for you to be a Bronco fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and a car thief, what would you be then?"

Mary said, "I'd be a Raiders fan."