HD trashing thread.

[Ti954]

I forgot about the Adam Carolla rant.  

[02Tac]

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven." Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself."
The befeathered fellow at the gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?" God says, "Ah, yes." "Well," says Davidson, "You have some major design flaws in your invention: One, there's too much front-end protrusion Two, it chatters at high speeds. Three, the rear end wobbles too much. Four, the intake is placed too close to the exhaust."

"Hmmm..." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it. "It may be that my invention is flawed," God tells Arthur Davidson, "but according to My Computer, more people are riding my invention than yours."

[02Tac]

Top 10 Reasons Why Harley Riders Don't Wave at Other Motorcyclists.
10) They're way too cool to acknowledge any non-Harley riders.
9) They're too busy daydreaming about owning a real motorcycle.
8) Their engine is too weak to handle the added wind resistance of a waving hand.
7) The Rottie (in back of the pickup truck with the tied down Harley) is easily upset by rapid hand movements.
6) Are you kidding? Risk their lives trying to control a Harley with just one hand!
5) They're too busy humming "Born to be Wild" while fantasizing about being Peter Fonda or Dennis Hopper.
4) They're too busy figuring out how to pay for the next order of genuine Harley accessories (including the "official" HD calculator needed to add up the cost).
3) If we really have to tell you, you won't understand anyway.
2) They can't see you because their half-shell helmet keeps falling down over their eyes.
1) They think we are actually trying to draw their attention to the parts falling off their bikes, and they are sick and tired of it.

[02Tac]

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!  Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.  Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.  Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.  Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!  Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.  The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!  The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.  Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.  

The moral of the story?  When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks.

[steve.m]

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!  Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.  Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.  Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.  Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!  Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.  The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!  The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.  Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.  

The moral of the story?  When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks.

[H.C.D.]

This link pretty much sums it up, I think....

http://www.crappiecat.com/store/store_product_detail.cfm?Product_ID=2246