What kind of sport torture are you into?

[Papa Lazarou]

Blag, brag, lie and show off. Mine was probably a tour on a 650 Ural outfit in freezing rain, snow etc in temperatures that never got past -10c

[kevin_stevens]

I was carrying a 15' reticulated python home, in a pillow case on my lap, while riding a Honda CM400A Hondamatic.

All was going well until the snake became restless and exited the pillow case by the simple expedient of ripping straight through it.

Concerned with having it fall and become entangled with the wheels at 50mph, to the detriment of both our health; I grasped it with firmness and alacrity around the throat with my left hand, while continuing to pilot the trusty Honda through suburban America with my right.

Considerable consternation was registered by the python as well as drivers in our immediate vicinity.

After an interesting review of my life to date, during which I made several observations about imprudent actions and ambitious promises about future conduct should the opportunity arise; we arrived at our destination.  I crashed the Honda onto the lawn, and both the python and I lay limp for several minutes, panting heavily.

KeS

[Mac]

There was the time I rode a FJR to Kansas where the temp went from 65F to just under freezing in less then 300 miles. Fortunatly I didn't get rained on very much and I did find a nice hardware/hunting store with far warmer gloves then I left home with.

Oh yeah, I did get a little lost and had to gas up at a store in the middle of nowhere that only had 79 octane or something rediculously low like that. Their coffee was horrible and only slightly above room temp, which was about 50F, but the good news was I was only 50 or so miles from my destination. Liberal, Ks, home of the Republican party and possibly Dorothy from the Wizzard of OZ.

[919]

I was carrying a 15' reticulated python home, in a pillow case on my lap, while riding a Honda CM400A Hondamatic.

Everyone can go home now.  Kevin just won.

+1000 internets to you good sir.

[sammyseaman]

I was carrying a 15' reticulated python home, in a pillow case on my lap, while riding a Honda CM400A Hondamatic.

All was going well until the snake became restless and exited the pillow case by the simple expedient of ripping straight through it.

Concerned with having it fall and become entangled with the wheels at 50mph, to the detriment of both our health; I grasped it with firmness and alacrity around the throat with my left hand, while continuing to pilot the trusty Honda through suburban America with my right.

Considerable consternation was registered by the python as well as drivers in our immediate vicinity.

After an interesting review of my life to date, during which I made several observations about imprudent actions and ambitious promises about future conduct should the opportunity arise; we arrived at our destination.  I crashed the Honda onto the lawn, and both the python and I lay limp for several minutes, panting heavily.

KeS

 

[stew71]

 

[kevin_stevens]

Everyone can go home now.  Kevin just won.

+1000 internets to you good sir.

Sorry!  It just didn't seem to fit any of the poll choices exactly.  

KeS

[D-Mac]

Well, there was this time I was riding into a...

Aw screw it. The snake story wins.  

[schmii]

Showing a friend various routes on Vancouver Island the day was over and we were near Sooke, BC.  He forgot something important in Port Renfrew and wasn't in any condition to ride so I went back.
We were on bike and ferry 18 hours the previous day and I was 14-15 hours in by the time I got back to Port Renfrew.

It started raining, the road's details disappeared, it turned to night, a headlight burnt out.  This rough road has hills and 15mph turns.  The ride to Victoria was a 3 hour nightmare blinded by cars, cornering into darkness and unwilling to change to rain gear.  Cold, Wet, Tired, Blind I arrived to Victoria after 18-19 hours riding... and that's why it's a bad idea to reserve hotels.

[NoGear]

Aw shit... can't beat the snake story......


Well on my recent ride-a-about  I ended up in St Pete's and I noticed a lot of motorcycles outside of a bar, both sport bikes and cruisers so I decided to go in.  After my first beer I noticed that there didn't seem to be hardly any women in the place and those that there were, were kind of butch looking.  Just then, the guy next to me starting talking to me. I won't go into what was said, BUT I quickly realized I was in a gay biker bar....  Not wanting to seem homophobic or anything I finished my beer before I left.

[Scratch33]

Ask Redfox about the time I had my '01 GL1800 so high up in the air you could've driven an SUV under me.

That didn't end well....

[jhawk]

...... Liberal, Ks, home of the Republican party.....

     how ironic....   but the snake story wins  

[Yankee Dog]

This doesnt beat the snake story either, but it does involve a Ural.  

There we were in the middle of a National Forest somewhere along the Georgia Tennessee border. The last people we had passed were about an hour past, could have used a few more teeth and were playing a banjo.  Anyway, the beast starts making this awful growling sound and it not the exhaust note. its coming from the transmission. I went into the coast and pray mode. Every time we would come to a down hill section I would pull in the clutch and coast. Every time we started back up hill I would give it some easy gas and pray.

Luckily we were about at the highest point of our travels when the trouble started. So there were more down hills than up. We made it to the bottom and out to a paved road just about when it gave up the ghost completely. We whipped out the ole cell phone and breathed a sigh of relief... four bars of reception what luck. Of course little did we know, what a PIA it is to actually get anyone at AAA to actually talk to. I almost pooped when the 1st cell battery went dead. The 2nd was almost deal when we finally got confirmation that a truck with a flat bed was on the way. Never again will I leave home with a charger capable of hooking up to a vehicle battery.

The weekend was not a total bust. Instead of heading home we had the towtruck operator drop us off at the cabin in Telico Plains and just hung out for the weekend. The local motorcyle shop owner took such pity on us that he lent us his truck so we could do some sight seeing in the area.  We finally got home via a rented U-haul.  

Adventure is adversity in retrospect.  

Overall life was and is good.

[kevin_stevens]

     how ironic....   but the snake story wins  

I have other snake stories, too...


 

KeS

[exbanditrider]

2007 Rusty Nuts Grand Challenge: http://banditrider.weebly.com/2007-grand-challenge.html

More than 1,200km of a 1,600km ride in pouring rain (sometimes horizontal).  Add in gusting wind, darkness and the odd goat track...

[flips21]

One time at a WRCM......

[mxvet57]

I was carrying a 15' reticulated python home, in a pillow case on my lap, while riding a Honda CM400A Hondamatic.

All was going well until the snake became restless and exited the pillow case by the simple expedient of ripping straight through it.

So did the snake grab Mr. happy?

[kevin_stevens]

So did the snake grab Mr. happy?

No.  But that reminds me of a story...

KeS

[motodoc43]

Everyone can go home now.  Kevin just won.

+1000 internets to you good sir.

Not so fast. "One time, at band camp..."
Oh yeah, wrong story, wrong forum! LMBO!!

[sleazy rider]

This past spring, down at the Cape Fear 1000....

Remember the severe weather that rolled thru the south this past spring??

The morning of the rally started with us waking to tornado sirens and pouring, driving rain.  Oh, well.  It's a LD rally, right?  Depart Savannah, Tennessee at 10am south to Meridian, MS for a gas receipt.  Everydamntown we went thru had tornado sirens going off.  After getting my receipt, I headed for Lavaca, Alabama to Ezell's Fish Camp.  While passing thru Butler, AL, I rode through the remnants of the town.  A tornado had just devastated the town and there were power lines down everywhere.  Police and emergency crews were no where to be found yet.  The good citizens were taking care of themselves.  The good news was the sun had finally come out, for about 30 minutes.

Got my pic of the fish camp in Lavaca, clicked in the next stop in Enterprise, AL at the Boll Weevil Monument.  As I'm rolling down the back roads, the clutch lever starts getting sloppy, like there's air in the line.   When I stop for gas in Evergreen, AL, it's pretty much gone.  No pressure without pumping the lever about a dozen times.  I call the rallymaster, report in as a mechanical failure and try to figure out how I'm getting home.  Evergreen sits on I-65, so I get the bike gassed up (300 mile range) and head north towards Michigan.  My first stop north was Decatur, AL for some food and fuel.  I managed to get the bike into neutral, restarted and  finally into first gear.  Back on the freeway, the clutch got ignored and power shifted up to speed.  Thankfully, no traffic jams, stop and go traffic or anything interfered with my getting north. 

The second gas stop was in Bowling Green, KY and that's where it all went to hell.  The clutch hydraulics gave up the ghost in a gas station near the National Corvette Museum.  Giving up on riding it home, I called the wife and asked her if she'd drive my pickup south to get me.  She was less than enamored with that idea, but was willing.  The plan was for her to head south in the morning and arrive in BG about dinner the next day.  Putting out the call online, I got the silly idea of renting a U=Haul and taking care of myself.  After getting in touch with their national reservation line, there's a rental shop across the street from my motel.  Well HELL, I can do that.  Catch is, I can't rent it till Monday morning.  Gah!  Call work, report that I'm delayed getting home from my long weekend and beat up the credit card to the tune of nearly $650 for the rental.  Gas coming home was $400, but I did it.

I'm going back next spring to enter and finish the rally.  Stubborn bugger, I am.