I'm a football fan. In celebration of my favorite team's win with a very good Gurkha "Evil" the other night, it occurred that some wins rate a better stogie than others. In the spirit of the (football) season, I submit the following quality of victory scale. With apologies(
) to fans of teams other than my Green Bay Packers
, here goes:
1. Don Jose
. This is a cigar typically found at Tobacco Outlet stores. Equivalent to a Topic
or perhaps an Arrango Sportsman
. For the much bandied-about "ugly" win.- the kind of game where you just barely pull off the victory, or do so by benefit of a boneheaded mistake from the opposing team or coach. Or you win by benefit of a bad call by the ref, turn the ball over three times and still come out on top; where you feel you might not have deserved it. The win over Carolina comes to mind, as do the more recent ones over Tampa Bay and San Diego.
. This is for the kind of game that wasn't stellar, but wasn't a squeaker. For the workman like efforts that have defined contenders over the years. Maybe one turnover. For the kind of game that you were pretty sure about, but in which the opposition didn't roll over. Wins over the Bears and Falcons come to mind.
3. Puros Indios
). A premium kind of victory. Maybe an upset, or a hard fought battle won against a worthy opponent. Or a blowout of a division or traditional rival. The victories over the Saints and the second Minnesota game are examples. Any playoff win gets at least a Puros.
. This is reserved for the kind of knockdown heavyweight battles that you find on league highlight reels for the season. Last minute comebacks, road shutouts, and overtime wins against equally matched teams rate this $8 cigar. Sunday's win over the Giants and 2010's Jets game rate one, as did the Badgers' victory over the Spartans.
(Cohiba, Romeo e Juliet, or any good stogie truly from Havana). Reserved for deeply satisfying, monuental games. The Super Bowl. Last year's NFC championship victory over the Bears comes close, if not all the way. Other examples include the victory in Minnesota last season, and the 1997 thrashing of Dallas at Lambeau.Now, no list would be complete without this consolation stogie or "Loser List":
1. Dutch Masters
. For the inverse of #1 above. One could argue that under certain circumstances, a loss is worthy of a Don Jose
. Overtime losses and close games could qualify. Just about any of 2010's Packer losses fit this one. Al Capones
also work here.
2. Swisher Sweet
- For the kind of game where you were overmatched, but were not embarrased. The Packers' 2008 season had a bunch of these.
(plastic tip variety, with "certain non-tobacco ingredients" added). Reserved for games you don't want to remember. You know, the Forest Gregg era. Lindy Infante. Mike Sherman playoff games.
I welcome your feedback...