Five Guys Go Riding in Oregon; One License is Lost

[MisterSmooth]

Rural Oregon.  Open, Empty, Littered with Snowcapped Mountains

It all started with the MotoGP.  Last year, XLR8 (Ron), Major 662 (Ken), Flips21 (Flip) and I decided to make the pilgrimage to Monterey for the races in July.



However, we needed a warmup trip.  Just to make sure that the bikes were OK, check out our gear.  As I explained to my wife, it was a safety thing.  Don’t want to take off on a long trip wondering if that new pair of gloves might chafe.  You wouldn’t run a marathon without walking around the block first, right?

As Ron and Ken live in Boise, Idaho, I live in Seattle, and Flip lives in Santa Rosa, California we needed a central gathering place.  That hub was Bend, Oregon which is not only a civilized small city where one can buy a decent macchiato but also the jumping-off point to a smorgasbord of tasty central Oregon roads.

We met in Bend, puttered around the Oregon back roads from Bend to Hood River, and then we all headed home.   Flip and I took the long way, so we spent an additional night in Wolf Creek in southern Oregon.



Is Saint Francis old, or is the hotel old?


We met at the Old Saint Francis Hotel, which used to be a Catholic school but now is shelter for miscreants such as ourselves.




They don’t have white robes (generally, a MisterSmooth requirement) but the St. Francis does have a theater, a soaking pool and a rambler room.  Ahhh, yes.  The soaking pool.




From now on I am not getting in a soaking pool unless it has a lion spitting water into it.


We had the good fortune to hook up with Kurt W, who lives in Bend in magnificent style (more on that later).  He has six motorcycles.  Thank you, Kurt, for becoming an essential part of my next motorcycle rationalization.  “Honey, four bikes isn’t so bad.  My buddy Kurt has six!”  Since “Tuono” means “thunder” in Italian and all the rest of Kurt’s bikes are singles, it’s not surprising that his favorite coffee shop in Bend is called Thump.  No, really.



Kurt’s street bike is an Aprilia, but all of his other bikes are KTM’s.  He just bought this 690 and the build quality is outstanding, with a sweet tube steel frame that looks like it was welded up by Santa’s elves on a good day.  He’s fitted this skid plate that is so beefy that you could hang the bike from it.  He says it’s also useful for straining pasta when you’re on a dual-sport campout.






Yes, Ron can stuff four muffins in his mouth at once.

Besides making a righteous cup of coffee, Thump has about a billion shingles hanging from the ceiling.  You can grab a shingle and write your wish on it, and they’ll hang it up.




When you think about it, there are a lot of things to wish for in this life.  For instance, X-ray specs.





Or this, which at first I thought was hilarious but upon further reflection seems rather melancholy.  Note to self:  Avoid “further reflection.”




Flip started hitting the Camelbak pretty hard on this trip.  But it seemed to work for him and I continue to wonder what he’s carrying in there.





Unfortunately, Flip caught me with his Pledge (note previous pic).  I just couldn’t help myself.  It was right there.  I think “stealing” is a harsh, unkind word and I prefer “borrowed without permission.”





Flip just shook his head sadly at my perfidy and took another pull.

Now you’ve come this far and are no doubt wondering, “When do we get to the riding part?”  Good question, but before we go riding we need to do something about Ken’s rear Conti Sport Attack which the Godzilla motor in his BMW (more on that later) has reduced to the wear bars.


“It looked OK when we left Boise,” he said.

Finding a 190/55 rear tire was a bit of a trick as the recession has claimed Bend Euro Moto and it is no more (damn shame).  But Ken located a phat fresh one, we all went to Kurt’s and pulled the rear wheel, and a buddy of Kurt’s at the Moto Shop put it on pronto.  Got to shout out here to the Moto Shop, they were awesome and you should go spend money there immediately.




This bike stand was worth a couple of pics.




I mentioned Kurt’s enviable lifestyle.  Not only does he have six bikes, but that van in the background has been set up for surfing and track days.  You can load bikes in it, sleep in it, it even has a microwave.  Did I mention that he has six bikes?



“Now,” you’re thinking.  “Now we get to the riding.”  Well, almost.  There are Kurt and Ken…but where are Flip and Ron?




Aaaah, there they are.






We did some bike swapping and Ken’s K1300S is like a Maserati GranTurismo…but with a supercharger.  Classy, relatively heavy but brilliantly suspended.  And what a motor.  Huge creamy mountains of power everywhere all the time.  “It makes you lazy,” he admitted.  Seriously, come flying into a corner, set your line (mid-corner line changing ist verboten) and then wind it on.  Dive into a corner in second gear so you’re carrying some revs, open the throttle wide…and you will be launched like a fucking rocket sled.  I laughed aloud in my helmet at the fantastic ridiculousness of it all.  Or I would have if my face wasn’t completely distorted from the acceleration.




Central Oregon, beautiful weather, locomotive motor, little tiny tank bag.


Flip’s ST3 is surprisingly plush.  The last Ducatis I rode were the Hypermotard (more antisocial than a Tuono, no joke) and the 1098 (hard, loud, fast, red, and impossibly sexy).  The ST3 is fast and red, but it’s remarkably comfy and more Monica Belluci than Linda Fiorentino (Aside:  I’m a big Linda Fiorentino fan.   A weekend with her may damage your senses permanently…but worth it.  She would be the Tuono).





Two guys that just surfed that wee bit o’road.








Ah, yes.  That lost driver’s license.  When we were having our coffee on Saturday morning, what should come through but this text from my daughter.  She is 17, delightful, and generally not prone to this sort of thing.  Which made it even funnier to me.




So we pondered that.  And I sent Hallie this message.



But indeed, the worst had happened.




My wife then pinged me with “Your daughter just flushed her driver’s license down the WC.  Never a dull moment…”

But still, we wondered.



All married guys know that it’s always a good to let your wife have that last word.  Which of course she did in style.




Duty called Kurt to zip back to Bend solo; here is leaving the Tuono parking area in front of Ground Coffee in Hood River.  Note that either first or second generation Tuonos may be parked here.



Hood River isn’t the nice quiet little town that you might think.  These two hooligans got ahold of my bike and tried to take it for a ride.  Fortunately, they couldn’t reach the foot controls.



Uh oh, here comes Mom.  “Where do you think you’re going, young man?”






Need your boom regripped?  Or are you OK for now?


On our way south from Hood River, Flip and I came across what appears to be an immense power factor corrector.  Blunder will know…are those ginormous capacitors, Jeff?





As Flip reflected on all the electrons being stored in that metal he took a long pull on the ‘bak.

We strafed our way down to Wolf Creek, Oregon where we stayed in an historic stagecoach inn.  For some reason, there’s something romantic about this place.  I like stopping there in the summer on my way to my mom’s place in Medford.  The fragrant smell of hot pine resin is rich in the air and it’s easy to imagine a coach working its way up the narrow valley to the inn, with the harness slapping and clinking and the passengers just so ready to get out of that tiny coach and have a stiff bourbon at the inn.




Damn!  Whatever Flip’s drinking, I want some!



This guy just couldn’t resist taking a long look at our bikes.  We’d like to think he’s got good taste but of course the truth is that motorcycles are the devil.



From Wolf Creek I went north to Oakland and then took the cutoff to Scotts Valley Road, roughly parallel to I-5.  I’m sorry to say that I’m not sure I can recommend that cutoff anymore except to the hardy and/or desperate.  There have always been some technical spots but now they are exacerbated by loose asphalt and gravel on the road, rough pavement, and deer.  I saw one big fella as I went in and that slowed me down over the entire stretch, which was good because what was once an immaculate stretch of asphalt has deteriorated quite a bit.
 
In Cottage Grove, however, I took the Cottage Grove-Lorane Highway over the hill to the west.  It was so fun that in Lorane I turned around and rode back to I-5!  Perfect pavement, nice cambers, NO traffic.  The only thing that keeps CG-L from epic status is its length—it’s only 12 miles long.  But Good Golly Miss Molly what a 12 miles they are.


The best road of the weekend!

And so the lush twisties came to an abrupt end and I began the gentle weave through traffic that is the fate of a fast-moving motorcyclist on Interstate 5 in northern Oregon.  As the miles pass by on the freeway, you have time to think about things.

1.   If the cops “incinerate” the pot that they confiscate…what does that really mean?  Isn’t that basically what was going to happen to it anyway?
2.   Why do restaurants advertise “Home Cooking”?  If I can cook it at home, why would I get it at a restaurant?  And I’m not all that good a cook, so “Home Cooking” is actually a negative idea.
3.   What kind of guy decides that a good name for his bar by the lake is the “Basshole”?  That implies that there is someone out there more juvenile than me.
4.   Of all the cars that I would imagine spontaneously catching fire and burning on the roadside it would not be this brand and certainly not one this new.




If that bike was on fire, well, sure.  But a new BMW?  And who among the Experts on Everything can tell me what that bike is?  Maybe a Yamaha eighties something or other.


While I was making time north to Seattle on the Interstate, Flip had cleverly set himself up for an epic day of riding.  He left Wolf Creek, rode about 20 miles of the most scenic interstate in the entire country, hopped onto 199 at Grants Pass and mowed down curves all the way to the coast.  In his words (copied and pasted from an email—sorry buddy but you forgot to copyright this).

“Like 96, 199 has a section that runs down a tight river canyon, but the twists and turns are more like 49 west of Downieville.  It runs a surprisingly long time and the turns suggest more “play” than “watch out for screwy cambers”.  Unlike 96, 199 has a stretch that runs through a redwood forest with long, wide consecutive 90° to 135° uphill turns that are cambered perfectly.  If you have no cars in front of you, (which I did not), they are a blast.  It feels like you can touch your hand down as you open the throttle and announce to the wildlife in the forest,  ‘The master of the forest is on attack!’”


Here’s Flip’s ST3 in Northern California.  You can almost smell the pot growing from here.





And the bike sent me this shot from [the legendary] Highway 1, where it carried my man Flip to the Pacific Ocean in Italian style.




It was as always a memorable good time and now that the training run is over, we’re ready for the trip to the MotoGP.  Don’t worry, Honey, the bike and safety gear are all checked out!  







P.S.  Here’s a bonus pic to ensure that this thread gets one thousand hits and deteriorates into a useless discussion about gun control.





Edit:  Just modified first pic so it would resize on front page (photobucket pics don't resize).

[Orson]

Calendar shot  

any trip that includes Highway 1 is an epic  

Thanks for the pics  

[MisterSmooth]

Well, yeah.  That shot is terrific.    Because of course I didn't take it.    KurtW did.    


The other two pics from the Rowena Loops are Kurt's as well.  He sure does nice work.


On this trip, he took a shot of his bike up by Mount Hood that is just gorgeous.  Kurt, would you post that up?  Pretty please?  

[1KPerDay]

Great stuff. I hate you all.  

[nevinfs327]

Fantastic.  Beautiful roads, scenery and bikes.  And all in the name of safety.  

[kurtw]

Classy, relatively heavy but brilliantly suspended.  

Obviously...  

[kurtw]

I wasn't expecting to be able to join Smooth, XLR8, Major, and Flips for their ride. I was slated to be hosting a house full of family for the weekend for my wife's college graduation. But when their plans changed to include a Thursday night layover in Bend, it wasn't too hard to make the decision to "call in well" on Friday and see how far I could follow them before rushing home.

Thursday night at the Old Saint Francis. They spent the night in "the Nunnery".

This is the "cigar bar" portion of the property. Perfect hangout for a bunch of motorcyclists on a summer evening.





Great weather. Stopping on the way to Fossil to take in how green and wet it is out there now.



The younger sibling to my Tuono



Smooth knows how to SPORT-tour on that Tuono, right down to luggage choices.



Another stop to hang out and BS some more. The canyon in the distance is so awesome. Every road that crosses it is a raging good time and really beautiful to boot. Descending and ascending the other side were a few of the many times that I wanted to stop for pictures but I just couldn't make myself roll off the throttle except to dive into an apex.



Rowena Loops











At Hood River, I decided to spend the night rather than rush back to Bend that evening. That was a good call. Not just because of the central Oregon forest rats, but because of the excellent food, drinks, and company.

I don't know how Smooth neglected to mention the wonderful 6th St Bistro from Friday night. And the beautiful, DRZ400 riding waitress. Such a gentleman. Or should I say… "Silver Fox".

Riding home past Mt Hood the next day




Great Ride Report, MisterSmooth. Bonus points for capturing the hilarious txt msg conversation with your family!  

[DogBoy]

Well, yeah.  That shot is terrific.    Because of course I didn't take it.    KurtW did.    

Is there anything that Mofo can't do with a camera?


Great write-up and fabulous photos. Mister Smooth, are you taking suggestions for those "two other bikes" to round out your garage?

[viffergyrl]

Creamy... one of my favorite words. Rhymes with dreamy..... applies to all Italian bikes and some German ones *sigh*  

Very nice ride report and awesome pictures. Capturing the text messages was quite unique and hilarious. Thanks for sharing. I'll go wipe my face now.

[Blunder]

Yes, those be capacitor banks.

What bothers me is there appears to be no swtichgear to bypass this equipment. That means the entire line has to be taken out of service to perform normal maintenance. Cheap and dirty installation. BPA at its best.

Nice posting, but there seems to be quite a few pics of men sucking.  

[kevin_stevens]

I think X-ray specs DO avoid further reflection.  

KeS

[Zen Rider]

Excellent post(s), great pics & nice title twist (One License is Lost) ~ would have never guessed that  

 

[Mrs. DantesDame]

Great stuff. I hate you all.  

I asked Dan if he'd read this report and he said no, it's depressing. He's right, of course, but I'm a glutton for punishment and enjoy seeing the ol' stomping grounds - not to mention some good friends, too. Thanks for the entertaining tale!

[FiremanBob]

What a great trip, and one of the best reports I have ever read.

[viffergyrl]

Excellent post(s), great pics & nice title twist (One License is Lost) ~ would have never guessed that  

 

Yes. I was thinking of one of the consequences of excessive speed (if caught)... but our intrepid heroes appear to be quite savvy about that.  

[XLR8]

I once asked an off duty Oregon State Trooper, "If a motorcycle reaches triple digits (odometer of course!) out in nowhere Oregon, and nobody sees or hears it, did it really happen? His answer?

"That's my vette right over there."

"It has a radar detector."

"Yep."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Everybody likes to play a little out there, just don't die."

"Would you ticket me?"

"Absolutely".

A little out of context but I always like that story.

The cool thing about this group of guys is that we are actually very sane. I'd describe our ride as riding "The Pace", motivated to remain alive by great beverages and charming DRZ riding waitresses at the end of every day...or something like that.

[919]

Great report and pictures.  Well done.  

[1000lbs]

Really enjoyed this report, great read and pics  .  I will be heading up to Portland with the wife pretty soon.  I was thinking of leaving the bike behind, but after reading this I'm now seriously reconsidering.

[greench440]

Thanks for the fucking invite.  I'd have skipped the national for this.  

[flips21]

Flip’s ST3 is surprisingly plush.  The last Ducatis I rode were the Hypermotard (more antisocial than a Tuono, no joke) and the 1098 (hard, loud, fast, red, and impossibly sexy).  The ST3 is fast and red, but it’s remarkably comfy and more Monica Belluci than Linda Fiorentino (Aside:  I’m a big Linda Fiorentino fan.   A weekend with her may damage your senses permanently…but worth it.  She would be the Tuono).

This photo was taken during our swap.  I was my first experience on Smoothie's Tuono (God willing, it won't be the last ).  

The first thing that strikes you when you get on the Tuono is the seat.  It is hard, angular and cuts into your thighs when your feet are on the ground.  But, when you place them on the pegs, the seat fits perfectly, purpose built.  Next, is the motor.  It gets you attention like a cop standing 6" from your face.  It runs up to speed immediately, leaving you wondering if the speedo is working properly, (No way I am going this fast already.)  And then there is the way it handles, not serious like an athlete who has reach his level in sport through years of hard training.  No, it is more like the gifted athlete who shows up without any training and laughs his way to first place.

About 3 miles before this photo was a section of tight twisty turns.  I was trailing Smoothie with me on the Tuono and Smoothie on the ST3.  Going into a hairpin, I watched as he leaned further and further to the left.  "Damn!" I thought, "He is really riding the shit out of my bike."  I on the other hand was on his tail, the Tuono laughing   at how hard my ST3 had to work while the Tuono  simply played with the corner.

I must do this agian!

Flip

[Grumbler]

We reached Rowena Crest late last summer. Didn't go quite a smoothly as yours. Got stuck
behind a slow pickup on way up from The Dalles, and encountered a westbound bicycle race
while on our way down to Mosier. Slowest ride we ever did between The Dalles and Mosier.

We continued to Government Camp for brekkie then grabbed West Cascades Scenic Byway
south to Westfir. Did 58 and 97 from Oakhurst to Klamath Falls for the night.

West Cascades Scenic Byway, especially with the optional Quartzville Drive and Santiam Hwy
loop thrown in, absolutely rocks although we had to bypass it due to time constraints.

[XLR8]

Hopefully MisterSmooth won't mind if I add a few images.

I've been in grad school for the past 3 long years and the weekend right before this ride I walked and received my degree. This ride represented spontaneous freedom from the chains of academia and an opportunity to reflect on my accomplishment. Many thoughts go through your head when you're out on a ride, especially after spending so much time in front of a pile of books, papers and exams. This photo captures and communicates those thoughts the best and what this ride meant for me...5 friends experiencing the open road in their own way. I especially love how Nathan and Flip are standing on the platform surveying what's to come.

[Tyrroneous]

Well done y'all.  


I think I need a Tuono.  They just look so cool.

[kurtw]

It was my first experience on Smoothie's Tuono (God willing, it won't be the last ).  

The first thing that strikes you when you get on the Tuono is the seat.  It is hard, angular and cuts into your thighs when your feet are on the ground.  But, when you place them on the pegs, the seat fits perfectly, purpose built.  Next, is the motor.  It gets you attention like a cop standing 6" from your face.  It runs up to speed immediately, leaving you wondering if the speedo is working properly, (No way I am going this fast already.)  And then there is the way it handles, not serious like an athlete who has reach his level in sport through years of hard training.  No, it is more like the gifted athlete who shows up without any training and laughs his way to first place.

About 3 miles before this photo was a section of tight twisty turns.  I was trailing Smoothie with me on the Tuono and Smoothie on the ST3.  Going into a hairpin, I watched as he leaned further and further to the left.  "Damn!" I thought, "He is really riding the shit out of my bike."  I on the other hand was on his tail, the Tuono laughing   at how hard my ST3 had to work while the Tuono  simply played with the corner.

I've been primarily riding offroad all winter and spring so this was my first significant ride on the Tuono this year. I had been marveling over how much power the KTM 690 has. But I got on the Tuono Friday morning and was just amazed all over again. Wow it's an entirely different level (with several levels in between). I think your description nails it.

[Papa Lazarou]

Magnifecent report. Some of the roads look almost European.

PS, all all Americans as slim as you?

[beatnikmike]

Very nice report........   Thank you

Central Oregon = Maybe the perfect area for WCRM 2011.5

[miles]

PS, all all Americans as slim as you?

Yes.  Nathan better looking than most, but otherwise typical of our kind.

[coho]

Excellent RR, Smooth.
Perfect balance of text and pictures.  

Oh, and FU for having all that fun while the rest of us toiled away at work.  

[Explorer]

Hopefully MisterSmooth won't mind if I add a few images.

I've been in grad school for the past 3 long years and the weekend right before this ride I walked and received my degree. This ride represented spontaneous freedom from the chains of academia and an opportunity to reflect on my accomplishment. Many thoughts go through your head when you're out on a ride, especially after spending so much time in front of a pile of books, papers and exams. This photo captures and communicates those thoughts the best and what this ride meant for me...5 friends experiencing the open road in their own way. I especially love how Nathan and Flip are standing on the platform surveying what's to come.

what is the name of this road? and where is it located. I will be in the bend area some time tomorrow.

[XLR8]

I think that was 206, Condon to Wasco.

[Explorer]

Thanks!

[XLR8]

I was close, it was here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/qousqous/3700425910/map/

Ya know, all those roads start to look the same out there...turn after turn...  

[kurtw]

Hey Jim, drop me a PM if you want to meet up for a meal or refreshments when you're in Bend!

[flips21]

I was close, it was here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/qousqous/3700425910/map/

Ya know, all those roads start to look the same out there...turn after turn...  

The guy using Flicker got it wrong.  It was on 206 east of 97.  Google Maps shows it here:

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=biggs&ie=UTF8&hl=en&sll=45.391549,-120.41595&sspn=0,0.053859&st=109146043351405611748&rq=1&ev=p&split=1&radius=1.57&t=h&ecpose=45.56859975,-120.85398952,885.25,151.221,65.16,0&layer=c&cbll=45.380014,-120.401453&panoid=MbSia-XUVgpJttN0ZuNm7w&cbp=12,304.44,,0,4.45&hq=biggs&hnear=&ll=45.379915,-120.392947&spn=0,0.037594&z=15

It is a spot worth stopping at.  You could see from Mt Jefferson to Rainer.  May be the biggest view I have seen in years.

Flip

[XLR8]

Yeah so just ride across Oregon until you see it. It's out there somewhere.  

[BIWOZ]

Great write-up and terrific photos.

I'm coming over in August to ride up through there.

This has just made it harder to wait! 

[Galo]

Great seeing all of you in these pics -and they are fabulous.....lovely report...very nicely done.
 

[Major 662]

It was kinda painful to stick my left arm that far into a hot exhaust can, but one of the bolts had bounced in there and I had to get it out...

[XLR8]

Thanks for the fucking invite.  I'd have skipped the national for this.  

 

Well, I think this ride was finalized while you were already en route to the Nationals. I was concerned I wouldn't be able to work out the logistics in time but was assured that I needed to do nothing and there would be beer waiting at the end of an excruciatingly entertaining day strafing the deserted roads of Oregon on the way to Bend. And that was exactly what happened.  

[Mastros2]

Excellent RR, Smooth.
Perfect balance of text and pictures.  

Oh, and FU for having all that fun while the rest of us toiled away at work.  

Haha!  +1

[XLR8]

Posting a few more from the ride if that's OK. Doing my best with my iPhone.

Twin twins at Ground Coffee, Hood River, OR




A stop looking over the John Day River, OR

[kurtw]

Cool shot. There's something about that I really like. Aside from the double tuonos, the old HR downtown has a cool feel.  Let's see more!

[notarian]

Excellent ride and RR! Entertaining, personable, choice fine roads and great pics.

Cheers Smoothie  

[coxracing]

Great write up, and an epic trip!  It's always awesome to see your backyard through someone else's eyes.  You made me feel like I was seeing it all again for the first time.  Very cool.

[Rincewind]

Phew - I'm glad no one lost there license from breaking the law.  Great shots and report.  

[Montyburns]

This is exactly what a RR should be.  Great pics and witty banter.  Thanks for the escape Smooth.  

[milosovichy]

I was in the area (Oregon Coast, inland to Prineville via the 199, even stayed at Wolf Creek Inn), the following week and just came across this post. Excellent riding, fantastic report, thanks Mr. Smooth. I haven't ridden the Rowena Loops previously, but that is now on my list next time I hit the area. I think the roads from Spray to Condon via Fossil is some of the nicest riding I have done. Something about the canyon just south of Condon just works for me. Thanks again. Have a safe trip to the MotoGP. I am positive that ride report will continue to make me green with envy.

[Skee]

Can't recall if I posted up before, but I am very much enjoying following along on this report.

[eastbowl]

Wow, awesome report!  Can't wait for the MotoGP report.  If this one is any indication, it will be an epic story.

[kurtw]

Can't wait for the MotoGP report.  If this one is any indication, it will be an epic story.

+1 !!!

[XLR8]

I plan to actually take pictures and keep track of where I am on the next trip.  

[flips21]

I plan to actually take pictures and keep track of where I am on the next trip.  

A camera?  Guess I will have to do the same.

[Major 662]

A camera?  Guess I will have to do the same.

I will follow my own precedent and bring a camera, but fail to get it out during endless photo ops.  

[Poustman]

Great ride report.  Thank you for posting.

The Tuono sounds like a very attractive bike.  I love the V-twin on my SV1000S, and the Tuono has that with a little more of everything.  133.8hp vs. 120hp for the SV, 86ftlbs torque vs. 75.  And 100 lbs lighter!!!!

[Papa Lazarou]

Thanks all. I enjoyed that.  

[R Doug]

I have finally found the time to sit down and catch up on some ride reports.  This was an absolute blast to read.  Bravo!  

I can't believe we're on page three and no one has suggested the following was due to drive failure.  
 

[scottzilla]

awesome