Turning In Your Sport Touring Card

[Orson]

Today, I rode a total of about 2 hours then returned to my hotel.

Then I lounged in the pool before enjoying a meal where the pianist played the Bee Gees "How Deep Is Your Love" and the sommelier spoke six languages.

Holy F@ck! Whut happened to me??? I used to be a riding machine!!!

I am so ashamed.

[ConPilot1]

I am so ashamed.

You should be. You ride Guzzi's.  

[bomber]

I was with ya til you mentioned the BeeGees . . . . .  . turn in your card.

(btw, ABBA woulda been worse).

[bubba zanetti]

Now, now ... one needs a good "pool day" following a relatively short ride. And that second martini, double olives please, allows one to distance themselves from the mundane life we all lead and grasp fully the pleasures to come. Do not turn in your card, but park it instead and ask the busty dark haired beauty at the front desk, wearing the satin blouse and contrasting cummerbund, to keep it in her safe till tomorrow.

Now sit back, relax and get your mojo on with a request for Copa Cabana by that god of the pool deck ...  Barry !  

[Rincewind]

As long as you take a lot of riding pics, I will let it slide.  Poolside pics are ok, too.  

[Blunder]

Poolside pics are ok, too.  

That depends. Frolicking nubile topless euro-chick shots are ok. Fat German industrialists in Speedos are not.

[R Doug]

I'll give you a break as long as you didn't park the bike in a place that could be seen from the pool area.  If so, then you're a poser today.

[county]

Holy F@ck! Whut happened to me???

"How deep is Your love"   ????   Sounds like you may be coming out soon, not that there is anything wrong with that.

[Mr. Whippy]

"How deep is Your love"   ????   Sounds like you may be coming out soon, not that there is anything wrong with that.

More importantly, did his helmet match his scooter fenders?

[Hambonee]

You should shouldn't be. You ride Guzzi's.  

FIFY  

[atadaskew]

You should be. You ride Guzzi's.  

Ride Guzzi's what?

[DogBoy]

"How deep is Your love"   ????   Sounds like you may be coming out soon, not that there is anything wrong with that.

That was THE OFFICIAL slow dancing song when I was in Junior High. I have a lot fond memories because of that song.  


Back on topic. Orson I think you need a different bike. Try a high revving I-4 sportbike or a supermoto.  

[atadaskew]

Today, I rode a total of about 2 hours then returned to my hotel.

What bike were you riding?

2 hours on a Guzzi has the soul satisfying powers of 2 weeks on a Honda.

It's powerful stuff..

[dietDrThunder]

What's the point of going abroad if you're just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Coventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, complaining about the tea - "Oh they don't make it properly here, do they, not like at home" - and stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh 'cos they "overdid it on the first day."

[st2sam]

Take five buddy, don't be so hard on yourself...
Heavy handed moderating isn't easy, lots of pressure for a guy your age.  

If you'll post a couple a pictures of the bikini babes by the pool we'll just add a zero to your riding time for the day, who's gonna no?  

[county]

More importantly, did his helmet match his scooter fenders?

Well, the waiter spoke six languages but was he cute...???

[dietDrThunder]

...and being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellvueses and Continentales with their modern international luxury roomettes and draught Red Barrel and swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending they're acrobats forming pyramids and frightening the children and barging into queues and if you're not at your table spot on seven you miss the bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, the first item on the menu of International Cuisine, and every Thursday night the hotel has a bloody cabaret in the bar, featuring a tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some bloated fat tart with her hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.

[Mr. Whippy]

Well, the waiter spoke six languages but was he cute...???

Look, 2 hours with a helmet on is enough to muss up just about anybody's doo.  If that's not sport-touring, I don't know what is.

[bikerfish1100]

That depends. Frolicking nubile topless euro-chick shots are ok. Fat Canuckian industrialists in Speedos are not.

fify

[Stormcrow]

Today, I rode a total of about 2 hours then returned to my hotel.

Then I lounged in the pool before enjoying a meal where the pianist played the Bee Gees "How Deep Is Your Love" and the sommelier spoke six languages.

Holy F@ck! Whut happened to me??? I used to be a riding machine!!!

I am so ashamed.

Please. It's what we all secretly aspire to (maybe without the Bee Gees, though)
It strikes me as being akin to James Bond rising from the water, shrugging off his wetsuit, and walking into the cocktail party in a perfectly pressed tuxedo while casually snatching a martini from the water's tray.

Carry on Sir!

[Hoochie Papa]

A) You "lounged"
B) You lounged in a pool
C) You enjoyed the music of a "pianist"
D) The music you enjoyed was by the Bee Gees
E) The song you enjoyed is a love song
F) You used the word "sommelier"
G) You conversed with said "sommelier long enough to learn he spoke 6 languages.
H) Your bike remained outside, turned off and crying for your sins.

I do not want you to turn in your card. I want you to get a knife (no, better make it safety scissors. Knives are for  riding machines) and cut it up yourself.

Dispicable.

[Mr. Whippy]

A) You "lounged"
B) You lounged in a pool
C) You enjoyed the music of a "pianist"
D) The music you enjoyed was by the Bee Gees
E) The song you enjoyed is a love song
F) You used the word "sommelier"
G) You conversed with said "sommelier long enough to learn he spoke 6 languages.
H) Your bike remained outside, turned off and crying for your sins.

I do not want you to turn in your card. I want you to get a knife (no, better make it safety scissors. Knives are for  riding machines) and cut it up yourself.

Dispicable.

That's a pretty solid argument.  Gonna be hard to refute it...

[DangerMoney]

You have an excuse: you live in Saudi. Come back to the states and you'll be deprogrammed.

[Orson]

C) You enjoyed the music of a "pianist"
D) The music you enjoyed was by the Bee Gees
E) The song you enjoyed is a love song

well...I'm more attuned to Eric Burdon singing "The House of the Rising Sun", but you have a point...just being around piano muzak is bad enuff

to make matters worse...the pool wuz one of them Euro-chic salt water pools.

I am going to hell.

[Orson]

Back on topic. Orson I think you need a different bike. Try a high revving I-4 sportbike or a supermoto.  

nuthin wrong with the Goose. It's still the anvil-hewed-sledge-hammer-when-all-you-needed-wuz-a-scapel.

The problem seems to lie within

[stromgal]

As long as you eventually post photos, you are still my hero.  




"2 hours on a Guzzi has the soul satisfying powers of 2 weeks on a Honda."  

[alphabet man]

Wow a "sommelier" I have never ridden my bike anywhere near a town that a sommelier existed, or that I knew of, or was aloud within an establishment that had one,  humble waiters serving cheap domestic wine is all ,                2 hours riding I am still envious.

 I need to get out more, as far as turning in your card we will need some pictures of the ride to judge whether  or not this is required

[alphabet man]

"2 hours on a Guzzi has the soul satisfying powers of 2 weeks on a Honda."  

 

[naustin]

You need a destination and a limited budget of time and money.  You'll be pushing through ten hour days to spend 20 minutes at some famous spot in no time.

PS) if I had you salary and vacation program - I'd stop and smell the roses too.

[birdrunner]

What happend????


It's simple,





You got old.    

[sammyseaman]

I approve of this thread

[Windblown]

Had it been Jimmy Buffet, a beach side bar, and lots of bikini clad women I wouldn't have held it against you.  

[2RR2NV]

Had it been Jimmy Buffet, a beach side bar, and lots of bikini clad women I wouldn't have held it against you.  

i'm thinking tthat most of the folks on here would be heading your way (if they could) and join you.  

[Orson]

seems to be multiple sources of my discomfort

The doctor noted an iron deficiency in my blood and gave me a prescription for a Vitamin D supplement, taken once a week. It was after I had taken the first pill that I began to notice the fatigue. I felt a huge loss of energy, as if lying on the bed was all I was able to do. Just getting dressed seemed to take effort. My stool color turned black, but I read on the internet that Vitamin D can do that  

A week later, I feel a bit more energetic, so I'm wondering if the Vitamin D may have been the cause?

To add to this, the leg I injured in South Africa is now giving me a lot of pain, that I didn't have when I rode last year. Swinging my leg on and off the bike is now accompanied by excruciating pain. Once I'm riding, there is no pain, but stopping for photos now is an ordeal. I've developed a system where I grab my stitch by the ankles, and slowly lift my leg on & off the bike. I'm sure people watching this think I'm nuts.

A third source of discomfort might be that I have no destination or goal in mind. While wandering aimlessly may sound romantic, when accompanied by pain, I sometimes ask myself, whut the f@ck I'm doing. The day I rode only two hours, I was in an area not known for great riding roads, and it was unseasonably warm for this time of year, so it made sense to hit the pool  

I have had some bright spots where I hit a nice set of twistys to realize that riding a bike isn't a source of discontent.

[2RR2NV]

ok, after reading that post, there is no reason to turn in your card. if the pain is that bad, but you still ride, no matter how long, then you need to renew your Ironman card.  

[MisterSmooth]

...To add to this, the leg I injured in South Africa is now giving me a lot of pain, that I didn't have when I rode last year. Swinging my leg on and off the bike is now accompanied by excruciating pain. Once I'm riding, there is no pain, but stopping for photos now is an ordeal. I've developed a system where I grab my stitch by the ankles, and slowly lift my leg on & off the bike. I'm sure people watching this think I'm nuts...

I'm sorry to hear that.     After all, Team Orson's loyal fans require pictures for the full vicarious experience.  

Is there anything to be done about your leg  (besides Vicodin or maybe a Percoset)?  Wouldn't recommend any sort of spirited ride after a couple of Vicodin and probably wouldn't help with pictures either.  

[atadaskew]

seems to be multiple sources of my discomfort

The doctor noted an iron deficiency in my blood and gave me a prescription for a Vitamin D supplement, taken once a week. It was after I had taken the first pill that I began to notice the fatigue. I felt a huge loss of energy, as if lying on the bed was all I was able to do. Just getting dressed seemed to take effort. A week later, I feel a bit more energetic, so I'm wondering if the Vitamin D may have been the cause?

To add to this, the leg I injured in South Africa is now giving me a lot of pain, that I didn't have when I rode last year.

I would go see a different Dr once you get a chance.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/287135-iron-vitamin-d-deficiency/

This suggests if you have an iron deficiency, you should be taking iron supplements.  I'm not sure why you are taking Vit D supplements?

[sammyseaman]

What bike were you riding?

2 hours on a Guzzi has the soul satisfying powers of 2 weeks lifetimes on a Honda.

It's powerful stuff..

FTFY  

[Orson]

Is there anything to be done about your leg  (besides Vicodin or maybe a Percoset)?  Wouldn't recommend any sort of spirited ride after a couple of Vicodin and probably wouldn't help with pictures either.  

I bought some Ibufrifin and hope for the best

I would go see a different Dr once you get a chance.

I'm on vacation, so short of spending my vacation visiting clinics, I'm gonna hold out until I get home. Meanwhile, I'll hope it's something temporary like a strain, and will improve although, it isn't showing any signs of improving very quickly.

[Windblown]

Bar lounging is an acceptable substitute for riding when the aches and pains of the later can be soothed by the former.

Hope you feel better soon.  

[Carbonero]

Bob Mielke in 5... 4... 3...

[stromgal]

I supplement Vit. D year-round, more so during winter when the sun is but a rumour.   Never had the effect you describe.  


On a western trip a few years back my shoulder and neck issues flared up something fierce. At times I was weeping in my helmet from the pain. If I hadn't had to ride long miles to meet people and keep to the time-table, believe me I would have holed up.  Do what's best for you!

[MisterSmooth]

...Do what's best for you!

In this case, what's best for Team Orson seems to be lounging, drinking, and chatting with the sommelier (don't think I've ever typed that word before).

Well played!  

[Orson]

On a western trip a few years back my shoulder and neck issues flared up something fierce. At times I was weeping in my helmet from the pain. If I hadn't had to ride long miles to meet people and keep to the time-table, believe me I would have holed up.  Do what's best for you!

Well, thankfully there is no pain while riding. Only when getting on and off the bike.

I've made it as far south as the Bay of Salerno, although I'm afraid this year's overall trip mileage will be an embarrassment  

That said, last night after dinner I sampled the pleasures of Armagnac while gazing at the twinkling lights of Amalfi...not in a tux though

[JonS]

I was with ya til you mentioned the BeeGees . . . . .  . turn in your card.

(btw, ABBA woulda been worse).

No kidding. And he used to be a sport touring legend. How the great can fall.





 

[Hambonee]

hah...Guzzi ridin sport tourers are not made..they are born that way. card stays....

[sammyseaman]

hah...Guzzi ridin sport tourers are not made..they are born that way. card stays....

 

[Orson]

I need to get my card back  

nuthin to see here, folks. Move along. Move along now.

[county]

I need to get my card back  

nuthin to see here, folks. Move along. Move along now.

Perhaps you are turning into a pussy....

[Dave.TX]

The road to recovery starts with admission. You recognized your folly. It could have been Barry Manilow or several others:

I Honestly Love You, Olivia Newton-John
All By Myself, Eric Carmen
Muskrat Love, Captain & Tenille
Midnight At The Oasis, Maria Muldaur

At least Barry Gibb and Co were able to string together many hits that, no matter how horribly they get dissed, people still secretly or openly love their music. OLJ went on to make that God-awful music video for that horrible song "Let's Get Physical". She is banned.

The good thing is you recognized the pit of despair you were falling into. Man card not relinquished, just on administrative suspension.

[Orson]

Today, team orson wuz handed a wine list that must have been 16 pages long  

Absolutely flummoxed, team orson had to punt and fall back on a suggestion from the maitr'd. Not something James Bond would do.

Such behavior might be expected from Beer swilling BMW and FJR riders, but not Guzzisti

We can only hope this incident isn't reported back to Mandello.

[bubba zanetti]

Maitre' d eh?  Hmmm  ... Sounds like a return to the Pyrrenees may well be underway  

[DogBoy]

Today, team orson wuz handed a wine list that must have been 16 pages long  

Absolutely flummoxed, team orson had to punt and fall back on a suggestion from the maitr'd. Not something James Bond would do.

Such behavior might be expected from Beer swilling BMW and FJR riders, but not Guzzisti

We can only hope this incident isn't reported back to Mandello.

Just order by octane rating or man-up and drink beer.

[sammyseaman]

I'm glad us Triumph riders don't have to worry about such matters. We only concern ourselves with 4 things:
1. We must look really cool
2. Our girls must look really hot
3. We drink only beer that is so dark you can't see through
4. Our whiskey must be neat*


*exception being in Manhattan form

[bomber]

I'm glad us Triumph riders don't have to worry about such matters. We only concern ourselves with 4 things:
1. We must look really cool
2. Our girls must look really hot
3. We drink only beer that is so dark you can't see through
4. Our whiskey must be neat*


*exception being in Manhattan form

I was with ya til the whole Manhattan deal . . . . . .

[ConPilot1]

Today, team orson wuz handed a wine list that must have been 16 pages long  

Absolutely flummoxed, team orson had to punt and fall back on a suggestion from the maitr'd. Not something James Bond would do.

Such behavior might be expected from Beer swilling BMW and FJR riders, but not Guzzisti

We can only hope this incident isn't reported back to Mandello.

Pretty sad, even Kawasaki riders know the difference between basic red and white variants,

with the exception of those KLR guys think the sommelier is offering them a place to spit their chew with that little silver cup.

[sammyseaman]

I was with ya til the whole Manhattan deal . . . . . .

It's for a wee bit of sophistication which'n we need dearly  

[Biking Sailor]

Pretty sad, even Kawasaki riders know the difference between basic red and white variants,

with the exception of those KLR guys think the sommelier is offering them a place to spit their chew with that little silver cup.

Having just picked up a KLR, not as my commuter/tourer, as a play bike for back roads and such, I can't disagree with that last statement.  Although they do seem to be quite picky about Doohickeys, Thermo-Bobs and big bore kits.  Not sure I fit in with them yet, time will tell (I am keeping my Guzzi collection secret from them).

[Orson]

Well, if James Bond can get out of a wet suit wearing a pressed tux, a Guzzisti should be able to order a bottle of wine  

[DogBoy]

Apples and grapes. James Bond is a fictional character. Guzzisti are only partly fictional.

[bomber]

It's for a wee bit of sophistication which'n we need dearly  

Pfft

I always elevate my pinky when picking my teef with a switchblade!

[stromgal]

I approve of the return of this thread.  

[Andrew]

Pretty sad, even Kawasaki riders know the difference between basic red and white variants,

with the exception of those KLR guys think the sommelier is offering them a place to spit their chew with that little silver cup.

So let me get this straight, the little silver cup has another use

Well that explains the strange look I got

[staedtler]

Today, I rode a total of about 2 hours then returned to my hotel.

Then I lounged in the pool before enjoying a meal where the pianist played the Bee Gees "How Deep Is Your Love" and the sommelier spoke six languages.

Holy F@ck! Whut happened to me??? I used to be a riding machine!!!

I am so ashamed.

Mr Orson, im afraid to inform you, your liscence has been revoked. please turn in your Guzzi keys, log in and password  




actually,...a pretty good cover  

[viffergyrl]

Today, team orson wuz handed a wine list that must have been 16 pages long  

Absolutely flummoxed, team orson had to punt and fall back on a suggestion from the maitr'd. Not something James Bond would do.

Such behavior might be expected from Beer swilling BMW and FJR riders, but not Guzzisti

We can only hope this incident isn't reported back to Mandello.

I'll feel sorry for you until you tell me where this bit of consternation took place....  

[Orson]

I'll feel sorry for you until you tell me where this bit of consternation took place....  

Easily within carrier pigeon range of the Mandello head office, hence my concern that this incident might be reported.

[viffergyrl]

Yeah I'd be worried too. You need to get up to speed on your Italian wines.  

I assume that Team Orson will be posting a ride report soon? Or have you already and I'm late to the party (again)?

[Orson]

Team orson has acquired one of them new fangled I-pads to communicate while on the road however, team orson hasn't acquired the technological know how to post pictures from the road.

We're still card carrying Luddites  

[Kneescrubber]

Team orson has acquired one of them new fangled I-pads to communicate while on the road however, team orson hasn't acquired the technological know how to post pictures from the road.

We're still card carrying Luddites  

Long live pushrods!

[bubba zanetti]

Team orson has acquired one of them new fangled I-pads to communicate while on the road however, team orson hasn't acquired the technological know how to post pictures from the road.

We're still card carrying Luddites  

Pssst ... Photobucket app .... shhhh!



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Blunder]

Pssst ... Photobucket app .... shhhh!



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

You can get vino apps, too. Probably include grappa.

[viffergyrl]

But you must post your pictures upside down.  

[bomber]

But you must post your pictures upside down.  

after grappa

[PatM]

after grappa

Isn't grappa cold medication?

[staedtler]

 

[JSharp]

2 hours on a Guzzi would be enough for me. Just sayin'    

[Orson]

Moto Guzzi's hairy chested brawn isn't for everyone, especially the faint of heart  

[bubba zanetti]

   Happy Birthday to Team Orson !  

Hope you have a good one !!

[Orson]

   Happy Birthday to Team Orson !  

Hope you have a good one !!

Grazzie  

Had a fantastic day riding yesterday. Today I'm feeling the soreness!

[Nodaclu]

Had a fantastic day riding yesterday. Today I'm feeling the soreness!

So does this mean you aren't going to have to change your avatar to....



 

[stromgal]

Feel the soreness, feeeeeeel the soreness, be the soreness.


Oh yeah, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!  

[Windblown]

So does this mean you aren't going to have to change your avatar to....



 

Ya know, it's kinda creepy you were able to come up with that pic.  

[Nodaclu]

Ya know, it's kinda creepy you were able to come up with that pic.  

LOL....nothing more than a search on his name, and a copy of his avatar.  

The fact that he instantly popped into my head after reading this thread title is MUCH creepier.    

[5OUTTA6]

Atleast you were lounging at Star@ucks!......And you other guys are just jealous of Bob.