Facilities Maintenance Rant - Please, join in.

[Fourstring]

Why are all you guys crapping on company time?  What am I paying youse for?  

[garry]

Can you spare a square???

Our company wanted to be "green" so they replaced paper towels in the restrooms with jet blow dryers. That means the facilities people rarely visit the restrooms now. I've was burned twice the first week by picking a stall that was out of toilet paper. I'm a Sit, Shit, and Split kinda guy in the stall. No dallying. So now I've learned to look up inside the toilet paper dispenser before pinching a loaf.

[county]

I laughed when I read Clay's story and the guy who got his nut sack caught and threw up...

Keep the stories coming....

[stew71]

One day, I walked into the men's room at work and noticed one of the crappers is out of commission with a sign to that effect saying parts were on order.  So inquiring minds wanted to know, after being out commission for a month, "Why not just run down to Home Depot and buy it?" Nope. Have to go through the proper channels and ordering process. We have ways of doing things around here.  Whatever.  

It stayed that way for 3 MONTHS. Now in a building of 400 people, with only 4 shitters for the men, and 4 shitters for the women, having even 1 out of service for that long is a big deal. Especially after the lunch hour. You get a lot of unhappy and disgusted faces exiting the bathrooms, knowing that they have suffer through another meeting or shift until they can pinch off that morning loaf.

Finally, someone decided to take matters into their own hands and left behind one of the largest turds Ive ever seen.  In the dry bowl. Maybe it was an amalgamation of turds.  Hell, it could have been a friggin' grizzly.  It was huge. I'm guessing the suspect was fed up and decided to save up the surprise for maintenance.

That sucker was up and running within days.  

[X1Glider]

Is that important...?

It is if he ever wants something bigger than a 9mm.

[X1Glider]

Know why the seat is like that? Certain cultures are afraid to touch their asses to the seat and they squat over it with their feet on the seat. Its a huge problem here in So Cal in the manufacturing industry where a certain race is prevalent.

See it here in TX too.  It's also the same people that, afterwards, goes to the sink and immediately cups their hands under the running water and rinses their face and rinsing out their mouth rather than washing their hands first.  In fact, I don't see them use soap at all.  They just leave after towelling off their face. I stay away from the software programming side of the building.  Don't want to have to touch the door handles.

[DNA]

Know why the seat is like that? Certain cultures are afraid to touch their asses to the seat and they squat over it with their feet on the seat. Its a huge problem here in So Cal in the manufacturing industry where a certain race is prevalent.

They should be taught the proper use of the ass gaskets - ya gotta use 'em in the public restrooms.

[UFO]

Not really a maintenance rant, but definitely facilities related....

Our company has a huge intranet, and it has it's own blogging/social system.  Anyone can start a blog and your blogs show up in a frame on the front of the corporate intranet.

The other day I saw something interesting in that frame:  "Do we have an official handrail policy?"

My first reaction was, is it April 1st?  Then I went and perused this gem of a blog entry.  BTW, it was the most active blog of the week in a company with 100,000 employees in all corners of the world.

Basically the person wanted to know if there's a rule that employees must hold handrails on stairs.  People posting about ergonomics, video cameras, accident statistics, creating an official policy about having your shoe laces tied (not sure if that one was in jest or not to be honest), catching diseases from handrails, insurance costs, definition of the word "hold," does it mean tightly, loosely, hover your hand over the rail, etc.

Reminded me of ST.N.

I was once verbally reprimanded by a facilities person as he walked by for standing on a 10" tall I-beam flange so I could see out our tall windows.  "You need to get down from there, you could get injured."  My response "From falling 10 inches?  You going to follow me home in case I fall off a curb too.  Go to hell."  And turned back to the window.  He walked away.

Nothing I hate more than self important facility safety nazis.

[JK37110]

Some countries have only heard of the joys of a toilet seat.

[county]

I was once verbally reprimanded by a facilities person as he walked by for standing on a 10" tall I-beam flange so I could see out our tall windows.  "You need to get down from there, you could get injured."  My response "From falling 10 inches?  You going to follow me home in case I fall off a curb too.  Go to hell."  And turned back to the window.  He walked away.

Nothing I hate more than self important facility safety nazis.

Damn, you are a touchy bastard....

[stevent]

WE don't make the rules, we just follow them. Now would you like to put in a maintenance request or a planned job work order? either way you'll need the equipment number (located on the underside of the toilet bowl or urinal), the device location IE floor, column and stall number and any relevent information you feel would help us serve you better including your employee ID number and a valid call-back number. We will get to your request in the order it was received.

Thank You for accessing your Facilities Maintenance Team...

 

[Giaka]

That's bullshit.

I wish it was.

[vulcanbill]

I wish it was.

Go find a medium or large sized construction site.  Locate the line of Tardis facilities.  Open one and believe.  

[ConPilot1]

I was once verbally reprimanded by a facilities person as he walked by for standing on a 10" tall I-beam flange so I could see out our tall windows.  "You need to get down from there, you could get injured."  My response "From falling 10 inches?  You going to follow me home in case I fall off a curb too.  Go to hell."  And turned back to the window.  He walked away.

Nothing I hate more than self important facility safety nazis.

Sucks having people following you around reprimanding you and forcing their opinion on you when you don't want it, doesn't it?  

Should'a pulled out a machete and waved it around.  

[county]

Doesn't anybody else have a pinched dick or balls story....those are real funny, to me.

[Redbandit14]

That's bullshit.

not even a little bit .happens where I work here in toronto. Programers!

[sammyseaman]

WE don't make the rules, we just follow them. Now would you like to put in a maintenance request or a planned job work order? either way you'll need the equipment number (located on the underside of the toilet bowl or urinal), the device location IE floor, column and stall number and any relevent information you feel would help us serve you better including your employee ID number and a valid call-back number. We will get to your request in the order it was received.

Thank You for accessing your Facilities Maintenance Team...