In A Divorce...

[CosmicCowboy]

Seeing what my old man friend goes through,

Fixed.

 

[Hell's Bella]

 

[ConPilot1]

Fucked thing in the fucked-over bitch-loving DRS systems of the CommonFuck of PennsylFucky is that they look at what you're "on track"to make for the year.

So you can have a good 1st half of the year, go to court and they'll "imagine" that you'll make that the rest of the year too.

When you have a shitty 2nd have of the year, you're fucked until you can take the bitches back to court again and listen to them
whine while they are nursing sunburns from vacations in the Tropics.

Mine did an Ocean City vacation , complete with condo and the luxuries a month ago. Today she's headed to Disneyland with her other rugrats from her 2nd marriage
for a 2 week "vacation".

Bitches.

[UFO]

Fucked thing in the fucked-over bitch-loving DRS systems of the CommonFuck of PennsylFucky is that they look at what you're "on track"to make for the year.

So you can have a good 1st half of the year, go to court and they'll "imagine" that you'll make that the rest of the year too.

When you have a shitty 2nd have of the year, you're fucked until you can take the bitches back to court again and listen to them
whine while they are nursing sunburns from vacations in the Tropics.

Mine did an Ocean City vacation , complete with condo and the luxuries a month ago. Today she's headed to Disneyland with her other rugrats from her 2nd marriage
for a 2 week "vacation".

Bitches.

You and Shah should get together for some bro hugs.

[ConPilot1]

You and Shah should get together for some bro hugs.

No. I might catch something.  

Peppered with f-bombs and vociferousness, but what I speak of is 'troof.

[Mr.Black]

Fucked thing in the fucked-over bitch-loving DRS systems of the CommonFuck of PennsylFucky is that they look at what you're "on track"to make for the year.

So you can have a good 1st half of the year, go to court and they'll "imagine" that you'll make that the rest of the year too.

When you have a shitty 2nd have of the year, you're fucked until you can take the bitches back to court again and listen to them
whine while they are nursing sunburns from vacations in the Tropics.

Mine did an Ocean City vacation , complete with condo and the luxuries a month ago. Today she's headed to Disneyland with her other rugrats from her 2nd marriage
for a 2 week "vacation".

Bitches.

Hmmm. Well.

Let's see if there is another side to this miserable dilemma know as divorce.

I was asked to leave my home in 2002. This is a home that was purchased with money that was left to me by my father and had a lot of improvements that were also made with money that came to me through my family.

I moved into a crappy apartment and lived there for a couple of years until circumstances brought me to a nicer place in life.

In that time my ex and I had to remain connected because of our children. In the divorce agreement I was allowed to keep my 401K since the equity in the house went to her.

We remain in contact for the kids.

Fast forward to today.

She, her man and my children are vacationing in Montana while I house sit the home that I paid for and take care of their pets.

Am I a sap or what?

Or,

Am I just lucky to have been given the gift of accepting what happened in life and not suffering because of it?

The point I'm trying to make is that shit happens, some people suck, and its up to us as to what we do with it.

Sure there were times where I was pissed about stuff and suffered for it. It was up to me what I did with it. Happiness is an inside job.

I am remarried, my kids are doing well and we ALL get along peacefully and cordially because that is the adult thing to do.

She still pisses me off often. I see these as opportunities for me to shine.

[Jeff]

Sounds like you're a good man, Blackie.   I wish I could've made it to the Cat-B-Q so I would've met you.

Jeff

[Carbonero]

Hmmm. Well.

Let's see if there is another side to this miserable dilemma know as divorce.

I was asked to leave my home in 2002. This is a home that was purchased with money that was left to me by my father and had a lot of improvements that were also made with money that came to me through my family.

I moved into a crappy apartment and lived there for a couple of years until circumstances brought me to a nicer place in life.

In that time my ex and I had to remain connected because of our children. In the divorce agreement I was allowed to keep my 401K since the equity in the house went to her.

We remain in contact for the kids.

Fast forward to today.

She, her man and my children are vacationing in Montana while I house sit the home that I paid for and take care of their pets.

Am I a sap or what?

Or,

Am I just lucky to have been given the gift of accepting what happened in life and not suffering because of it?

The point I'm trying to make is that shit happens, some people suck, and its up to us as to what we do with it.

Sure there were times where I was pissed about stuff and suffered for it. It was up to me what I did with it. Happiness is an inside job.

I am remarried, my kids are doing well and we ALL get along peacefully and cordially because that is the adult thing to do.

She still pisses me off often. I see these as opportunities for me to shine.

Try as I might, and believe me I do try, my Ex will never relent on ass-raping me into oblivion just because I had the audacity to leave her. It's really just that simple. I keep trying to walk the high(ish) road, though. She ruins me at ever turn, lies about me, bankrupts me, etc.

I keep smiling, though... I'm generally a happy guy. She can't take away from what make me ME, though... so far, anyway.

[Mr.Black]

You must have really pissed her off.  

[black hills]

This all sounds to familiar.... after I had been divorced for a while my ex told me "after you moved to that shitty appartment and learned you would lose everything I didn't think you would go through with it".
I gave up more than I probably could have, but managed to keep my 401k and pension, as well as my pickup and 2 motorcycles. that was it!!  I'm happy as ever and she is still miserable, she calims to think I am a decent person and great father. My kids 13 & 15 now realize what thier mother is like and I get the "I perfectly understand why you got a divorce dad"  about once a week. I never say anything negaive about thier mother, or complain about child support. I think it is going as good as it can???  At least it is going far better than most every other divorced guy I know... There is no way around it, divorce sucks for all involved, but live and learn

[ConPilot1]

Hmmm. Well.

Let's see if there is another side to this miserable dilemma know as divorce.

--blip--snip--
She still pisses me off often. I see these as opportunities for me to shine.

I understand all this and do not run around whining or dwelling about it and have tried to get on with my life, sans my kids for the most part, only involved in their lives when it's convenient for somebody else
or if somebody else needs a "favor" or cannot handle my kid anymore and calls me in to be the discipline police. Then when it's all quiet and there's no issues anymore I don't hear from anybody for weeks on end.

I bitch in these divorce threads. Good place to vent and do so. I need to vent. I cannot just bury shit and smile about it.

I'm tired of being fucked over in my life. I was fucked over as a kid by my parents, to the point where I almost blew my brains out at the age of 14.

Said screw that, I want to live. Was on my own by the age of 17 and had a few good years after that. Met the ex at age 24 or so, married her, knocked out two kids due to HER desire to have kids,
bought her a fucking house, and then threw my ass away like a wadded up piece of paper that she was done wiping her ass with. And then the DRS reverse IV needle comes, draining me of everything I have
after losing my house and half of my personal assets, including half of my 401K. Glad for you guys who managed to save your 401's. And the things I had, they weren't given to me by anyone else, or
inheritance money involved. It was all from my own work over the years. Nobody gave me shit.

Keep in mind my kids were 6 years old, and 18 months old at the time. Not like the divorce went down when the kids were 12 and 15.

I'm just tired of everybody's hands in my pockets withdrawing money like a fucking ATM machine for themselves, with little or nothing left for me.
And I'm tired of being expected to be around to show support for family members when nobody gives a flying ratfuck or has the time of day for me when I might need a little.

Opportunity to shine?

I'll tell ya when my oppoortunity to shine will be. In a few years when I can say "fuck you" to everybody and go live my life the way I want, and any assets I put in my pocket
are mine to do with what I choose to do with. Not pay for somebody else's vacations and cars and shit when I can't afford to take my own.



I took a phone call from her yesterday...."Can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah whatchoo need."

I had to run to downtown Scranton today to the State Vital Records building in 95° heat ATTGATT to get a copy of my kids birth certificate so he can play baseball this year.
And Biden is visiting today so downtown was a clusterfuck to say the least.

No time for her to do it because she was busy planning her trip.

[Mr.Black]

Nice bike.

[Walker]

I got to keep my bike, bicycles, kayaks, guns, my Xterra, a dresser, my dog....and after replacing it with something functional, my $5K stereo...half my 401K and pension, and most importantly I got to keep my dignity. Everything else I had to replace, and I'm now living in a crappy apartment. She got to keep the house, the BMW, all of the furniture and household goods, and primary custody of my daughter. I pay child support and spousal maintainance, including paying off the car loan, insurance, and other debt incurred by her during our marriage. I got to keep my sanity and dignity.

Hell yes it is worth it!

[Bounce]

Give up on fair. I pay 95% of *all* "extra" costs, above and beyond almost $5k a month.  

There's another reason for not being too successful.
Posted on: July 04, 2012, 01:39:58 PMDad got a crappy apt, mom got the house.
Dad got a crappy car, mom got the Corvair.
Dad filed bankruptcy, mom got $10 a month child support because that's what he chose.
Mom raised the 2 of us and didn't have enough cash to open a checking account.
Mom had to sell the house and move to my grandparent's hometown to afford a place for us, dad showed up 2 years later in a new Firebird.
Dad left for the babysitter.
Mom and us didn't get beat any more.

Seemed a fair trade.

[NoGear]

I'm on my fourth marriage.   The first one lasted a year of which I was home for exactly 3 weeks total time while we were married.   She got exactly what she came into the marriage with. Nothing.

Second one, I got transfer orders the day before the wedding.  I transferred and it took three months to get orders cut for her to join me.  Over the next 16 months I was home 4 months total time.   She got exactly what the first one got. Nothing. Not even the clothes in the closet.  

Third one I was married to for 7 years. We had a son together.  The last three years we were together I got transferred to the other side of Germany. I made it home when I could which wasn't often. We I got orders to finally go back to the States, she said "I'm not going and be there alone"   I gave her the house, our bank accounts, everything except my Jeep, bike, and parachute.  In return my child support was only $280 a month but for 8 years I had an allotment set up that sent her $500 a month. Do you think she was grateful for the extra money? Hell no.  She had the never to tell my son that I hadn't given her anything.  When he was 16 I finally set him down and showed him the divorce decree that showed everything his mother got, including how much child support I had to pay, then I showed him the bank statements showing the allotments going out with almost double what I had to pay for 8 years.  But I never stooped low to say anything bad about his mother except to say that she was wrong.

The fourth wife decided she wanted a divorce two years ago. After she realized she'd end up like the first two and get nothing she decided it was in her best interest to work things out.

[Carbonero]

There's another reason for not being too successful.
Posted on: July 04, 2012, 01:39:58 PMDad got a crappy apt, mom got the house.
Dad got a crappy car, mom got the Corvair.
Dad filed bankruptcy, mom got $10 a month child support because that's what he chose.
Mom raised the 2 of us and didn't have enough cash to open a checking account.
Mom had to sell the house and move to my grandparent's hometown to afford a place for us, dad showed up 2 years later in a new Firebird.
Dad left for the babysitter.
Mom and us didn't get beat any more.

Seemed a fair trade.

I'm glad it worked out better for you. I really can't abide abusive parents. I'm sorry you had to go through that.  

She tells a very different story these days, but the very worst thing I ever did was realize I wasn't in love and I gave up on the marriage. I've also decided the very worst thing you can do is have "personal" discussions about these things completely private and behind closed doors. Now she gets to say whatever she wants and since I'm the one who left her, it must all be true. It would be a VERY different situation if I'd just thought to drop an active audio recorder in my pocket for so many of the "discussions", emotional abuse sessions, ridicule sessions, tear-downs, so-called heart to heart talks, money talks, talks about the kids, etc.

And she calls me the liar.  

[Carbonero]

I'm on my fourth marriage.   The first one lasted a year of which I was home for exactly 3 weeks total time while we were married.   She got exactly what she came into the marriage with. Nothing.

Second one, I got transfer orders the day before the wedding.  I transferred and it took three months to get orders cut for her to join me.  Over the next 16 months I was home 4 months total time.   She got exactly what the first one got. Nothing. Not even the clothes in the closet.  

Third one I was married to for 7 years. We had a son together.  The last three years we were together I got transferred to the other side of Germany. I made it home when I could which wasn't often. We I got orders to finally go back to the States, she said "I'm not going and be there alone"   I gave her the house, our bank accounts, everything except my Jeep, bike, and parachute.  In return my child support was only $280 a month but for 8 years I had an allotment set up that sent her $500 a month. Do you think she was grateful for the extra money? Hell no.  She had the never to tell my son that I hadn't given her anything.  When he was 16 I finally set him down and showed him the divorce decree that showed everything his mother got, including how much child support I had to pay, then I showed him the bank statements showing the allotments going out with almost double what I had to pay for 8 years.  But I never stooped low to say anything bad about his mother except to say that she was wrong.

The fourth wife decided she wanted a divorce two years ago. After she realized she'd end up like the first two and get nothing she decided it was in her best interest to work things out.

Seems there were expectations that weren't fulfilled in those marriages. They all know going into it that you weren't going to be around much? Doesn't seem like the kind of situation that would foster a happy marriage. Sorry it worked out that way.  

[black hills]

Seems there were expectations that weren't fulfilled in those marriages. They all know going into it that you weren't going to be around much? Doesn't seem like the kind of situation that would foster a happy marriage. Sorry it worked out that way.  

I think this is the problem in all failed marriages. My first wife and I agreed upon a lot of things (riding was one of them) before we gotr married, the whole plan changed after the "I Do" ???

[Carbonero]

I think this is the problem in all failed marriages. My first wife and I agreed upon a lot of things (riding was one of them) before we gotr married, the whole plan changed after the "I Do" ???

I'm currently in a relationship with the smartest, funniest, coolest chick on the planet. We're very much in tune and in agreement on all the really important stuff. I'd totally put a ring on her finger, but I just don't wan to do that until we're both very secure not only in what we want going forward, but financially, socially, etc. Also, in our both being who WE are and want to be. I do not want, and will NEVER exist in a co-dependent relationship ever again.

I'm not saying that's what's going on, or that I expect things to go South... very opposite, actually... but we'll be having a few late evening, quiet-house, very personal talks before the marriage thing happens. I think she'd fully agree on all points.

[Hell's Bella]

I think this is the problem in all failed marriages. My first wife and I agreed upon a lot of things (riding was one of them) before we gotr married, the whole plan changed after the "I Do" ???

Lots of things change after the "I do," unfortunately.