What are some "dealer speak" translations?

[sfalexi]

Thought it might be fun to speculate what some "dealer speak" might actually mean when you talk to them...  For example...

After calling in and asking if they've looked at my bike yet and discovered what's wrong with it yet.
"Which bike was yours again?" (I answer) "Oh, it's on the lift and they're working on it right now"
   Dealer speak comes out to "Well, you're calling in, so we haven't even moved it since you dropped it off, but you won't know that."

"Hold on.  Let me check with the boss to see if he'll accept that." < - Classic dealer speak for "I'm gonna go in the back room, drink some coffee, and come back out and say it was rejected to see if you'll offer more."

"Oh yeah, that bike can definitely handle that."  <- means "I don't know anything about these bikes, but I really want to sell this one, so yes, this bike you're semi-interested in can do ANYTHING you want to do on it"

Stuff like that.  I think we should compile some here, and then someone with more money than me can create a witty "dealer dictionary" and sell it in book stores (much like the "bro code" books).  All I ask is a mention in the preface/beginning of the book as a thank you for the inspiration.

Alexi

[veefer800canuck]

Automotive Dealer speak: "fleet" price

Stands for:

Full
List
Each (and)
Every
Time

[Wide Track]

There is an ass for every seat

[STalker]

There's an ass working at every dealership.

[atadaskew]

"Well, yeah it's not a Guzzi"

Several translations actually depending upon the scenario:

1/ This thing has no torque
2/ This thing sounds like a hair dryer
3/ This thing is ugly

[Moto Morphin Power Ranger]

"We can get that Guzzi"
translated
I have no idea where i am going to get that. so i will hold your 6000 down payment for 4 weeks and speak in only riddles till you get pissed do your homework find the bike yourself and tell me where i can get.

 "This is a popular bike"
your not getting a f-ing deal  

"they have many accessories to customize this bike"
Its not what you want but you can spend thousands on trying to make it what you want.  

[caddydaddy]

"You want one of THOSE???"  Said the salesman at the Harley dealer after I asked about a Buell a few years ago.  No wonder they went under!  

[Oxblood]

sfalexi,

Instead of a book, why don't you set up a wiki online? People can add as they wish and soon enough there will be a large thesaurus like page that decodes the secret language of dealerspeak.

[Rattlehead]

Maybe not dealer speak, per sey:

"Never raced" = ...on an actual race course or by professionals  

"well maintained" = we just changed the oil since the previous owner never touched it in their 5000 abusive miles  

"I have another interested party" = someone walked by earlier today and 1/2 glanced at it.

"low miles" (old bike) = it sat unused most of it's life and now has gel-ed up gas hopelessly clogging the carbs and mice have chewed through most of the wiring.  

"low miles" (new bike) = it was used as a showpiece/ status symbol and spent more time being reved to the limiter to show off for friends than it did actually going anywhere.

[medjen]

Maybe not dealer speak, per sey:

"Never raced" = ...on an actual race course or by professionals  

"well maintained" = we just changed the oil since the previous owner never touched it in their 5000 abusive miles  

"I have another interested party" = someone walked by earlier today and 1/2 glanced at it.

"low miles" (old bike) = it sat unused most of it's life and now has gel-ed up gas hopelessly clogging the carbs and mice have chewed through most of the wiring.  

"low miles" (new bike) = it was used as a showpiece/ status symbol and spent more time being reved to the limiter to show off for friends than it did actually going anywhere.

spot on!

[CosmicCowboy]

Also not dealer speak:

"street fighter" = "I trashed the plastics beyond repair."
"Tasteful mods" = "I dare you to find an aftermarket piece of crap I did NOT bolt on."
"Custom" = "Bought off the shelf and bolted on."

[kwb377]

And what are "original" miles? Are they different than "aftermarket" miles?  

[DrMikey]

"You might think it's a little underpowered"

Translated: "I really want to sell you it's big brother."

[caddydaddy]

And what are "original" miles? Are they different than "aftermarket" miles?  

They would be different if the odometer was changed out.

[kwb377]

They would be different if the odometer was changed out.

That's my point...everyone puts it in their ad, regardless if it's had an odo change or it's a brand-new bike.

[MichiganMan]

That's my point...everyone puts it in their ad, regardless if it's had an odo change or it's a brand-new bike.

I always like to respond to ads like that with "...damn, I was hoping for aftermarket miles. Too bad, I had cash in hand."

[C 4]

See above definition of "streetfighter"
I trashed all of the plastic beyond repair in a crash but managed to find a working odo with 60k less than what is actually on the bike. You didn't say original to THIS bike.

[scotteroni]

"What kind of monthly payment are you looking at?"

We want to avoid talking about unimportant stuff like the price of the bike. We want you to focus on the affordable monthly payments that you can make and stretch out the payment period to maximize the 2% interest rebate our dealership is going to make on a manufacturers  backed financing package.  The more accessories and prepaid services we roll into the loan will end up paying us back for years.... in fact the life of the loan.

[sfalexi]

"do you know what your payoff balance is?" - cause thats the max amount we're going to offer for trade.
"we're evaluating your trade right now in the back" - you're not getting those keys back for two hours and we're gonna do what we can to wear you down in that time.

[CosmicCowboy]

"we're evaluating your trade right now in the back" - you're not getting those keys back for two hours and we're gonna do what we can to wear you down in that time.

Ha! Forgot about this one! Last car I bought I pushed my final offer to the salesperson (which, oddly enough, was the same as my first offer), and said "Come back with a yes, or come back with my keys."

[Rattlehead]

"What kind of monthly payment are you looking at?"

We want to avoid talking about unimportant stuff like the price of the bike. We want you to focus on the affordable monthly payments that you can make and stretch out the payment period to maximize the 2% interest rebate our dealership is going to make on a manufacturers  backed financing package.  The more accessories and prepaid services we roll into the loan will end up paying us back for years.... in fact the life of the loan.

UGH, the "payments" question. Basing your purchase off of what payments you think you can handle over the course of 4, 5, 6+ years is a good recipe for future financial disaster.
My answer is zero or as close to it as possible. That throws them a curve most of the time.  

If you answer the "how much is your payoff" with "Zero" it's like you hit them in the side of the head with a brick. They don't know what to do.  

[ConPilot1]

"Do you need help? Somebody will be right with you."



Take the next 2 hours and look at all the bikes on the floor, and all the accessories. Sorry you've got nothing better to do, but we're very busy here.

[scotteroni]

"Do you need help? Somebody will be right with you."



Take the next 2 hours and look at all the bikes on the floor, and all the accessories. Sorry you've got nothing better to do, but we're very busy here.

I don't know how many times Iv'e been in a show room and the sales guys are just sitting there shooting the breeze not even acknowledging your presence. I didn't think it was my job to have to walk up to the salespeople after 20 min to see if they can help me or not.    Even worse when you see the sales manager chatting it up with the office girl while another chance at making a couple thousand in profit for the dealership walks out the front door.

[Kootenanny]

"You want one of THOSE???"  Said the salesman at the Harley dealer after I asked about a Buell a few years ago.

Translation:  "We don't make much profit on those--and certainly no aftermarket chrome sales--so we'd much prefer it if you bought this here Geezerglide for three times the price!"

[coucours grad]

Price negotiable " Well add a 800 dollar frieght fee and a 1200 dollar handling fee and still make a killing off of you you stupid customer."


  Maintenance Contract "Bend over we're REALLY gonna get you good boy!"


 One owner Garage kept  "It cleaned up alot better then we thought it would"


45 day Labor warranty  " ON day 46 your gonna need a tow."


  Under new managment. "New Bean counters that only care about profit.....Customer service???What customer service?"

[coho]

"I just need to check with the manager on that, I'll be right back."

My response to that is always "Just send out this manager, if you can't make the deal what do I need you for?"

[Bama67]

"I just need to check with the manager on that, I'll be right back."

My response to that is always "Just send out this manager, if you can't make the deal what do I need you for?"

I know, I usually deal with the manager or the owner.

But you know what is crazy?
Two days I was trying to buy a new Guzzi, I talked to a salesman that got me a decent price.
A couple of hours later I called and asked for the owner/manager guy, thinking I might could negotiate a better price with him. Well, the deal the salesman got me was over $700 better. WTF?  
I accepted the salesmans deal, I don't know how he got it, because the owner was dead set on not going a dollar lower. lol
The salesman made me the good deal right off the bat earlier when I told him I wanted to buy immediately. I hope he didn't get in trouble afterwards.  

[Wide Track]

I just heard a new one to me on TV last night "Employee Pricing To All" ?????  Are they ripping off their employees as well???