Confession time: I punched out a couple rental cars.

[Yakiman]

I’d fallen in behind this youngish Harley chickie, as we approached the intersection to a “name deleted-to-protect-the-guilty” store (far from home), and had become semi-enthralled with her major bonita bombardier, you know – tight jeans protruding from leather chaps, draped over motorcycle seat, etc. That’s the confession part  

Here’s the consequences part: Survival instincts pulled my eyes up just in time to see this guy in a new pickup do a cut-off left directly in front of her, while he was laughing and flipping her (us?) off.

After some serious moto breaking and avoidance skills by us both (she was good; and causing a much too close view of said anatomy, BTW) she jetted through the intersection, did a U-ee, and did a WTF motion to me as she screamed back past and into the store.

I was going to follow the action, but as I pulled off on the shoulder to wait for traffic, to make my U turn, noticed I had a birds-eye view of the parking lot below, so I just watched from there.

Just as he unsuspectingly went into the store, she pull up to the pickup, took something from her saddle bags, and took her time going all the way around the pickup, while the uncaring shoppers passed all around the scene.

I’ve added her wave and smile, as she rode past continuing on her way, to the many more of memorable women encountered while out riding.  

Resuming my trip, as often done on the boring stretches, I filled my mind with focus-force metal exercises, this time calculating the costs of mirrors, light lenses, gouged windows and body/paint work on a new pickup; and, contemplating that I’d witness the “goes around” actually coming around.

Chief Yakiman


PS: some of you will have to wait awhile before you can truly appreciate how good it feels to have a younger, beautiful woman avenge, and defend the honor of,  (albeit, incidentally) your aged old ass. Now that’s moto camaraderie of the first kind.  

[Sport-Touring]

[atadaskew]

Figures it was a babe on a Harley that stepped up.

[Leanintree]

Figures it was a babe on a Harley that stepped up.

Meh, they're just used to spending time in jail.
(ducks and runs away)

Leanintree

[atadaskew]

(ducks and runs away)

Leanintree

Exactly.  She did not duck and run away.

[Johnny Monsoon]

It was last summer. There was heavy traffic on my commute along the water. Two lanes with curves and scenic views. Some sheep had come down by the road and the pullouts were full, so people started parking along the guardrail. Finally, two buses came head to head and couldn't get by eachother. I hung back where traffic behind me could see me stopped until the buses cleared eachother, then as the bus in front of me got moving, the cars blocking the road were right there. I saw the first had a foldaway side mirror and I punched it hard enough to snap it forward. I saw the next wasn't a foldaway but went for it anyway. I hit it hard enough to break it, but my fleeting thoughts as I went past is that it didn't. The carbon knuckle protectors on my gloves work great. Icon Mercs. But I have to be more careful with my throttle hand. I always wonder what the people behind me who saw it thought. What do you guys have to confess to?

I would kick the living fuck out of you if I ever saw you doing that.  With a smile on my face.  Shitholes like you are just a waste of flesh; that wasn't your property.  I hope some cager kicks your bike over in its spot and trashes your plastics because it took up a whole space.  We all pay for that bullshit.  Thanks, prick.

[Mr.Black]

One day when I was 17 I was riding home from school on my 67 honda 305 scrambler, an old lady pulled out in front of me blocking both lanes so I slammed into her at about 30 mph............I showed her, eh?

[STalker]

One day when I was 17 I was riding home from school on my 67 honda 305 scrambler, an old lady pulled out in front of me blocking both lanes so I slammed into her at about 30 mph............I showed her, eh?

Heh, I did the same thing to some drunk pulling a u-turn in front of me. Cool huh?

[Fourstring]

I divided by zero and took the red pill.




Also, I put the kickstand down at a light today to knock on the window of the guy who cut me off, then saw me and did it again anyway.  He faced forward, silent but beet red.

[Jes_VFR]

According to some I've done more than my share to BDC's in the last five years.
I've broke a couple of mirrors.
I dented a Lexus SUV door (pretty badly).
I've flipped up the front of my flip face helmet and screamed at a couple of drivers at lights.

But I think this was the best one.
I'm stuck in some traffic at a couple of traffic lights on a divided road. Part of the traffic flow problem is that two roads with multiple lanes merge into a three lane road and then immediately come to a stoplight. Just past the stoplight the road narrow to two lanes each way.
I'm in the far left lane with a work van right on my ass, and a woman in the next lane driving a brand new baby Jag. We are five cars or so back from the light and she is eating some sandwich thing from Dunkin' Donuts and chattering away on her bluetooth headset.
Anyway the light in our direction finally changes (Its a delayed green wouldn't you know), and when my lane starts to roll, she just starts to come over. The van behind me hits the horn and locks the brakes to keep from hitting her ass end and she just keeps coming over.
I kick mirror hard enough to snap it off its pop away mount and it flips up and cracks the windshield.
She suddenly notices me, like I materialized out of thin air next to her, but she veers back into her lane.
Now thanks to the second choke point on the far side of the light, I end up at the front of the line, and right next to her.

The "woman" has the nerve to roll down her window and start yelling at me about the damage to the car.
I flipped open the front of my helmet, and I yelled back, "Well I did not want to die, you dumbass. You were ready to run me over for what?"

She grabs her cell phone from off the seat and starts gesturing at me with it. She's yelling that If I don't pull over and give her my information, she is going to call the cops.
I just about laughed at that since I knew that my license plate was obliterated with caked on mud and I'm wearing a polar mask.
I looked around for a second and noticed that my lane on the other side of the light was clear, the van was back up on my back tire (and the dude was grinning at me!), and that the light for the opposite direction was just turning green.

I still don't know what made me do it but just as the light went green, I flipped my lid shut, lunged out and snatched the cell phone out of her hand, flinging it into the oncoming traffic. The timing was perfect as it when right under the wheels of a casino tour bus (crunch). Then I took off, the van right with me. He boxed her out as did the next six or seven vehicles.
I made it a point to make the next three traffic lights and get on the expressway.
The van followed me all the way onto the expressway. A couple of miles down the road he pulls along side me and gives me a big thumbs up. I nodded and he notched up his speed leaving me to the rest of my commute to work.

[Yakiman]

I would kick the living fuck out of you if I ever saw you doing that.  With a smile on my face.  Shitholes like you are just a waste of flesh; that wasn't your property.  I hope some cager kicks your bike over in its spot and trashes your plastics because it took up a whole space.  We all pay for that bullshit.  Thanks, prick.

Whoa! Johnny man, you might want to think about getting back on your meds; and try mixing some fruits and veggies into your diet….  

[Orson]

really though...if you have to kick mirrors to make yer way thru traffic, you just ain't using the manouverability advantage of a bike to its fullest. Think about chaotic Italian traffic and how it just seems to flow towards the point of least resistance.

If yer kickin mirrors, that's just yer emotions getting away from you.

 

[Shaggy-R6]

A few years ago, riding home from a friends house in Ann Arbor, some lady pulled onto the Interstate and proceeded to cross all lanes of traffic, almost taking me out.  I saw it coming so I was on the brakes.  She then changes from the far left lane, to the middle lane.  So, I change into the left lane and pull up beside her, knock on the drivers side window, wait till she looks over, give her the finger (all while travelling at 80 mph), and speed away.  To this day, the look of shock and horror on her face still cracks me up.  

When some sh*t box fart canned POS driver has his stereo cranked and the window open, I liked to pull up alongside and then drop a gear and stay there.  

I do this when I see people talking on cell phones and driving.

[servicerifle]

Man I hate I am so late to this!!!

I was at Barber a few years ago and Sunday after the big race everyone was slowly moving out of the park.  I don't exactly remember what was going on, but some woman was on an HD with all her HD buddies and they were all doing a piss poor job of navigating in the traffic jam.  She in particular kept getting very close to me, both when she was behind me (she could barely stop it seemed, likely from rear brake only use), and when she was beside me.  She was like a 700 lb (including the bike) Weeble-Wobble.  Her husband was equally poor at this simple stop-and-go task.  At one point I just looked at her and shouted, "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE ON A BIKE, YOU CAN'T RIDE FOR SHIT AND NEITHER CAN YOUR HUSBAND!"  I think I hurt her feelings, they all drifted away from the angry (but admittedly small-ish) sportbiker.  I reckon I got lucky.  

[Hardware]

A couple of months ago the missus and I were pulling off a divided blvd into a mall parking lot.  The entrance road goes through a four-way intersection and three of the...ways...have stop signs clearly posted.  The road (ours) coming off the blvd has no stop sign and obviously has the right-of-way.

As we're approaching the intersection I see an SUV approaching from our left.  She has a stop sign - we don't.  Her speed and my experience with local drivers told me I should slow down (already travelling under limit).  Anyway, the c*nt never even showed a brake light as she flew past the stop sign, veered left and was now travelling ahead of us.  

I started swearing and said, "That's it, I've fucking had it."  Mrs. Hardware started bitching at me to let it go but I followed the SUV which parked in the mall lot.  I pulled up behind it and could see her looking at us in her side mirror - I waited for a bit but she obviously wasn't getting out.

I backed up and pulled the car up beside her door rolling the passenger side window (Mrs. Hardware's).  The c*nt rolled her window down and having little choice, Mrs. Hardware told her calmy, "You nearly hit us back there.  You blew through your stop sign and we actually didn't have a stop sign."

The smug c*nt smiled like it was a cute joke and said, "Sorry."  That actually pissed me off even more so I yelled, "You look like a fucking sympathy card!"

I totally understand everyone who says we should just let shit like that go but what pisses me off is these truly retarded chunks of feces that drive like this and there are no consequences!  They endanger (and at times take) other people's lives and they should be held accountable for their immense stupidity.

[Snowbird]

....this guy in a new pickup do a cut-off left directly in front of her, while he was laughing and flipping her (us?) off.

A guy in a truck bearing the name of his home remodeling business did that to me. Now, every so often, I call him and make arrangements for him to come out and give me an estimate at a bogus address. Getting him out on special days like holidays are especially fun.

[Hardware]

...and the same week as the incident I posted above, I had a run in with some aggressive moron.

I had been sitting at a traffic light and when the light turned green, made a left turn onto a highway.  I turned into the left lane of the four-lane divided highway and started to accelerate.  I started to shoulder check and signal to change into the right lane but a car came flying up in the right lane and passed.  I waited for him to go and then a small SUV came flying up behind the first car.  This guy slowed down and started shaking his fist at me very angrily.

People around here are notorious for changing lanes in a turn so I'm assuming he figured I should have made the turn from the left turning lane into the right lane of the highway.  

He pulled ahead of me and swerved into the left lane.  About two kms later there's another traffic light with a left turn lane.  I'm making a left turn to go home and doesn't fuckface in the SUV pull into the left turn lane ahead of me?

I'm very familiar with the timing of this light and it was a stale yellow when we pulled up, changing to red just as we stopped.  This is a longer light and I knew I had some time, so I put my truck in neutral, set the parking brake and exited to go chat with the SUV twit.  He watched me in his side mirror and as I'm halfway to his door, the light inexplicably changes.  He gunned it and peeled out of there like there was no tomorrow.

Let's see, 140 lb Filipino guy suddenly reassessed his decision to beak off at the guy in the Tacoma who turned out to be 6'2", 270+ lbs and willing to discuss the matter.

[Hardware]

A guy in a truck bearing the name of his home remodeling business did that to me. Now, every so often, I call him and make arrangements for him to come out and give me an estimate at a bogus address. Getting him out on special days like holidays are especially fun.

When I've been cut off or nearly run off the road by contractor's or other commercial vehicles, I've thought about writing articulate letters to the company explaining why the driving behaviour I witnessed will ensure I'll never do business with them in the future but that ones way better!

[Hardware]

This thread is setting me off - reminding me of all the asshattedness I've witnessed.

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in my truck in a mall lot (same one I posted about above) while the missus went in to pick up a few things.

A guy pulled up in a newer Acura and pulled into the spot right beside me - and proceeded to crunch right into the car parked in front of him.  I sat in my truck and didn't say anything to him.  He simply got out of his car and walked into the mall like nothing happened without ever checking his or the other guy's bumpers.  

I was surprised but figured I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe he would come out after shoppping and check for damage, maybe he had a photographic memory and got the plate # of the car he'd hit as he was pulling in (before hitting it) and he was having them page the owner in the mall...

About ten minutes later he came back out, hopped in the Acura and left without ever looking to see if there was any damage to either car.

While he was in the store I wrote his plate # down.  When he left without checking for damage I put a note on the windhsield of the car he'd hit.

[Brad1445]

I ate all my vegetables.

[Johnny Monsoon]

Whoa! Johnny man, you might want to think about getting back on your meds; and try mixing some fruits and veggies into your diet….  

Oh, crap...  I wasn't aware this was a ball-bearing thread...